


Slowly, With Each Touch and Each Kiss

by whisperedstory



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bartender Jared, Don't copy to another site, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, M/M, Piercings, Pining, Reverse Big Bang Challenge, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:52:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21607546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedstory/pseuds/whisperedstory
Summary: When Jensen starts coming to JD's, the cocktail bar where Jared works, Jared is instantly interested in him. What starts out as a one-night stand quickly becomes a casual arrangement that Jared could easily see turning into more. But Jensen isn't looking for something serious and Jared would rather settle for being friends with benefits than not having Jensen in his life at all.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 92
Kudos: 408





	Slowly, With Each Touch and Each Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [SPN Reverse Bang](https://spn-reversebang.livejournal.com/).
> 
> Betaed by [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift). Thank you for fixing my mistakes and for the amazing prompt, which I fell in love with the moment I saw it. You never fail to inspire me with your art and I love collaborating with you. ♥
> 
> With beautiful [art](https://dancing-adrift.dreamwidth.org/18397.html) by [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift). Go check it out and leave Amanda lots of love!

Jared notices the guy right away. It's a Thursday night, so JD's isn't too busy and Jared can check out the crowd a little while mixing and pouring drinks. So he happens to be looking in the direction of the entrance when the guy steps through the door. But Jared thinks this guy would probably stand out even if the place was packed to the brim. 

He's wearing a suit that fits so nicely, Jared highly doubts it's off the rack, and Jared would take bets that he works in one of the fancy office buildings nearby. A lot of the people who work there drop by for a drink or two at the bar after work. Businessmen are usually not Jared's type—too polished and preppy and a lot of the time too damn straight—but he'd make an exception for a guy like _this_. He's got the kind of face that could put him on covers of magazines, and that sounds like a line from some cheesy, cliché harlequin novel—not that Jared reads those—but goddamn, he's gorgeous. He's tall and broad-shouldered and just what Jared likes in a guy.

Suit guy looks around, taking in the entire place, before making his way over to the bar and picking a seat at the very end of it. Jared is over there in the flash, putting on a wide, polite smile.

"Hi there. Can I get you anything or do you need a moment?" he asks and picks up one of their menus, handing it over. Up close the guy is even better looking, masculine yet _pretty_.

"I heard you make good cocktails," the guy says, tipping his head to the side a little as he glances at the menu. Of course his voice is perfectly deep and smooth, and damn if it doesn't do something to Jared. 

"The best," Jared confirms confidently and leans in a little further than necessary. 

The guy arches one eyebrow, an amused smile playing around his lips. Full, pink lips that Jared is pretty sure he's going to be thinking about a lot when he jerks off from now on. "That so?"

"Hmm, well yeah, I'm making them," Jared replies with a cocky smirk and the guy laughs. 

"Alright. Make me an Old Fashioned then." 

"A classic. I like that," Jared replies and barely resists throwing in a wink. He doesn't want to come on too strong. He likes to flirt and he wants to flirt with this guy especially, but he also knows to keep it down because not every guy coming in here appreciates it. Some because they're homophobic dicks and others because they think a guy like Jared, with his piercings and tattoos and his job as a bartender, is beneath them. Of course, there are also those who are into Jared for exactly that reason, like they're doing something adventurous by hooking up with someone outside of their circle of the rich and beautiful, and that's really not any better, even though Jared at least gets an orgasm out of it. Either way, he's learned to be a bit cautious before he hits on anyone at the bar.

"Well, then. Show me what you've got. But I'll have to warn you, I've got pretty high expectations now," the guy says. Jared grins at him and then turns away to make the drink. 

He's pretty sure the guy is watching him and it makes heat pool in his stomach. It's a little ridiculous, how strongly he's reacting to this guy, but it's been a while since he's been that instantly attracted to someone and even longer since he last got laid. 

He puts on a bit of a show as he mixes the drink, flexing his arms as he reaches for bottles and stretching up in a way that makes his shirt ride up. 

Finally, he puts the drink down with a flourish. "Here you go. Best Old Fashioned you will ever have," he declares. 

The guy snorts. "You're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?"

Jared hums in reply, smiling. "Just try it and you'll see that I'm right. Can I get you anything else?" 

"I'm good, thanks."

"Okay. Enjoy," Jared says. He wishes he could stick around longer, talk to the guy and at least find out his name, but there's really no reason for him to hang around and he has work to do. 

He keeps a close eye on the guy though, waiting for him to finish his drink so he can go talk to him again.

Tom, who's working the bar with him tonight, gives him a knowing grin when he catches Jared looking. "I'll stay away from that side of the bar tonight. He's all yours," he says, patting Jared's arm as he passes him. "To serve drinks, at least." 

"Thanks, buddy," Jared says with a small laugh and knocks his shoulder against Tom's. "I doubt he's interested though."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Tom replies, grabbing a glass and drawing a beer. "He's definitely been sneaking glances your way."

"Yeah?" Jared asks hopefully, and he has to force himself not to look at the guy again, checking to see if he's being watched. The thought makes his mouth go a little dry. It really _has_ been a long time since he's been with anyone and this guy is a walking wet dream. 

Tom snorts and puts the full glass down on a tray on the counter, nodding at Katie, one of the waitresses. "Oh yeah."

"Who are we talking about?" Katie asks, leaning over and looking down the bar not too subtly.

"Katie, stop," Jared groans. "Jesus."

Katie laughs and picks up the tray. "You're no fun," she teases and then winks. "Good luck, Jay."

Jared shoos her away and he's just about to pick up a rag and wipe the counter down where the tray has left a ring of liquid, when Tom hip-checks him.

"Your boy's drink looks empty," he says. "Go make him a new one."

Jared drops the rag and looks at the guy, feeling a flutter in his stomach when he realizes Tom is right, the drink is empty and Jared finally has a reason to go talk to him again. He runs a hand through his hair and then heads towards the end of the bar.

"Another?" he asks.

The guy gives him a small, sly smile. "Well, since it wasn't _horrible_, I guess I could be persuaded to have another drink, yes," he drawls, and Jared takes the guy's empty glass with a grin.

"You know how to flatter a guy," he says and starts pulling the things together to make another Old Fashioned. 

"Oh, you're looking for flattery?" the guy says, and the tone of his voice makes Jared look up at him, finding him blatantly looking him up and down. "'Cause I can do that."

Heat settles in Jared's stomach, those sweet first tingles of want coursing through him. He tries to school his face into something casual. "Well, it's always a good idea to stay on the bartender's good side," he says. 

"I intend to stay on your good side, believe me," the guy says, smirking a little. 

"Good," Jared murmurs, not sure the guy even hears him over the music. He finishes making the drink, adding the finishing touches to it. He puts it down on the bar counter on a fresh napkin.

"Thanks…" the guy says, his tone searching.

"Jared," Jared supplies.

The guy gives a small nod, smiling. "Jared," he repeats. "I'm Jensen."

Jensen. It's a unique name, and Jared thinks it suits him. He certainly is anything but average.

"Well, enjoy your drink, Jensen," Jared says with a smile. "Holler if you want another. Or anything else."

Jensen grins, nodding. "Thanks, Jared."

"Leaving?" Jared asks, unable to hide the disappointment.

Jensen has just finished his third drink and flagged Jared down, his wallet out and on the counter.

"Yeah, I need to get up early tomorrow. I should have stopped after the second drink, to be honest," Jensen says with a self-deprecating smile.

"Well, I hope you come back some other time," Jared says, and it comes out sounding painfully sincere. 

"I definitely will," Jensen replies and pulls some bills out, putting them down. "Keep the change." 

It's way too much, Jared can tell without counting and usually he'd at least put up some polite protest, but Jensen is already slipping of the barstool. 

"See you around, Jared," he says, and Jared gives him a final smile.

"Looking forward to it," he says, and when Jensen turns, Jared can't help but take a few seconds to watch him go. 

He hopes Jensen really does come back, and he vows to at least ask him for his number if he does. 

"Old Fashioned," Jared greets when Jensen shows up at the bar the following week on a Friday night. He's dressed a little more casual tonight, wearing dark jeans with a button-down and a blazer, and if possible he looks even better than Jared remembered. The outfit isn't as stuffy and it suits him, making him look a little more approachable, and at the same time he looks like he strolled in from some fancy movie shoot, pretty and put-together. 

He's once again found a seat at the bar, and Jared takes notice of the fact that he's once again alone.

Jensen smiles at Jared's greeting, resting his arms on the counter and leaning forward a little. "Forgotten my name already?" he asks, his tone teasing.

"Never," Jared says and returns his grin. "Jensen."

Jensen looks pleased at that, like maybe he thought Jared actually might have forgotten when he's easily the most memorable guy to have walked into the bar in months.

"So, what can I get for you tonight?" Jared asks. "Same as last time?"

"Hmm. No, I think I'm in the mood for a Whiskey Sour," Jensen decides. 

"One Whiskey Sour coming up," Jared says with a little salute, and he inwardly cringes at himself, hoping he didn't look too dorky. Jensen gives a small laugh, his eyes trained on Jared as he turns to grab what he needs for the drink.

"Let me guess, the best Whiskey Sour I'll ever have had?" Jensen asks when Jared puts the drink down a short while later, and Jared grins widely.

"Of course," he says cockily. 

"Well, judging by how packed this place is tonight, you might actually be right about you making the best cocktails in town," Jensen says, picking up the glass. "You always this busy on the weekends?" "Yeah, pretty much," Jared says and sighs. "Which is why I gotta go make more drinks now, unfortunately."

"Too bad," Jensen says, smiling flirtily over the rim of his glass as he takes a sip.

Jared hesitates for a second, before he decides to throw caution to the wind and be bold. He wants this guy and he's pretty sure he's going to kick his own ass for a long time to come if he doesn't at least try. 

He glances at his watch and then licks his lips. "I get off in two hours," he says.

Jensen smirks and raises an eyebrow. "Do you?" he says suggestively, and Jared flushes.

"Off work," he replies, rolling his eyes. 

Jensen laughs softly, and Jared is a little mesmerized by the fine lines around his eyes. "Anyone ever tell you you look really hot when you blush?" Jensen asks, and Jared huffs.

"I don't blush," he retorts, and Jensen grins.

"You sure do, sweetheart, it's damn nice to look at," he says and then nods at the girl making an impatient noise next to him, leaning over the bar. "Go do your thing. I'll wait."

Jensen only has two drinks, nursing them slowly over the next couple of hours, and Jared feels a little bad for the guy, but Jensen doesn't seem to mind. He's typing away on his phone a lot and whenever he looks up and their eyes meet, he smiles knowingly.

"You can go home," Jeff tells him a good thirty minutes before Jared's shift ends and the bar closes down. 

"Huh?" Jared asks, looking around. The bar isn't as packed anymore as it was when Jensen came in, but there are still quite a few people hanging around. 

"I've been informed by Katie and Gen that you've got someone waiting for you," Jeff says with a smirk, nodding at Jensen, who is hunched over his phone, typing once again, a small frown of concentration on his face. 

"You sure?" 

"I can handle the bar on my own," Jeff nods and claps Jared's arm. "Katie can come help me if necessary, but I'm sure things will slow down soon anyway." "You're the best boss in the world," Jared says and gives Jeff a quick side-hug. It's a sentiment he's voiced many times, for various reasons. Jeff has been there for him for years, has been his friend and mentor as well as his boss. "I owe you, man. Seriously." "I'll remind you of that the next time I make you help with inventory," Jeff says. 

"I promise you won't hear a word of complaint when you do," Jared vows seriously.

"Yeah, I think we both know that's not going to happen," Jeff jokes and gives Jared a small shove. "Go, have fun. Be safe." 

Jared gives him a small salute and then goes to grab his things, before heading towards Jensen. Jensen looks up, a little startled, when Jared leans against the bar next to him. "Ready to head out?" Jared asks.

"I thought you had to work until 2?"

Jared shrugs. "We're not that busy anymore, so I get to cut out a little early," he says and raises his eyebrows. "So? You wanna go?"

Jensen looks at him and there's definitely some heat in his eyes, and Jared feels a swoop of arousal low in his belly. "Let me pay and then we can leave."

Jared shakes his head as Jensen slides off the stool and his hand goes to the back pocket of his jeans. "On the house," he says, and puts his hand on Jensen's arm. Jensen looks up at him, licking his lips, and Jared's eyes follow the movement. He's got such a nice mouth and Jared wants to kiss him, wants to feel those lips against his _now_, and it takes all his willpower not to do it right there in the bar. So instead he clears his throat and gives Jensen a smile. "Come on." 

Jensen finally nods and grins a little, looking up at him. He grabs his blazer, which he'd taken off sometime during the night, and they head out together. Jared feels giddy with excitement, still not quite able to believe this is really happening. Jensen is the hottest guy he's seen in a long time, maybe ever, and though this is only the second time Jared has met him, he's already dying to get his hands on him. 

When they make it outside, Jared takes a deep breath of the fresh night air, trying to calm down a little. Jensen slows down and then stops completely, turning back and looking up at Jared.

"Hey," he says, looking a little awkward. "Full disclosure, just so we're on the same page. I don't usually do this, but I'm not really looking for anything serious right now. I just got out of a relationship and it ended kinda messily. So I just want some fun."

Jared nods. They're strangers and it'd be ridiculous to want more than that based on a physical attraction anyway—though Jared still already knows he wouldn't mind seeing Jensen again. But he's happy to take whatever Jensen is willing to give him and if that's just one night then Jared's more than okay with that. "That's fine," he says, and Jensen nods and smiles, the tension easing from his shoulders again. 

"Okay," he says. "So. You live nearby? My place is a bit out of the way from here." "Fifteen minute walk. Or we can call a cab," Jared says. 

Jensen shrugs. "Walking is fine. I've got my car parked nearby, but I've had some drinks so I shouldn't be driving." 

"No, probably not," Jared agrees, and tugs at Jensen's arm, steering him down the sidewalk. Walking will probably do Jensen some good, he thinks, even though he doesn't seem tipsy from the two drinks he's had. He's a tall guy, though not quite as tall as Jared is, and pretty buff, so Jared guesses it takes more than a couple of drinks to affect him. 

"You work around here?" he asks conversationally, before silence can settle between them and make things awkward. 

"Yeah, a few blocks from here," Jensen says, waving vaguely to their right. "One of my co-workers actually recommended your bar. I've, uh, been looking for a new hang-out."

"Well, tell them thank you and to keep spreading the word," Jared teases. "What is it that you do, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm a lawyer," Jensen says and Jared lets out a small whistle. "Fancy." "Not really as fancy as you might think," Jensen says with a small shrug. "I'm a family lawyer. It's mostly divorces and custody cases, so probably nothing nearly as impressive as people think when they hear the world lawyer."

"But you like it?" Jared prods.

"Sometimes," Jensen says with a small smile. "You like being a bartender?" "Sometimes," Jared quips with a smirk and Jensen laughs softly, the sound loud in the quiet street.

The conversation dies down as they reach Jared's apartment building and Jared pulls out his keys. Jensen is standing close enough behind him that he can feel the heat from his body, and he feels a swoop of anticipation course through him, want returning full force. He tries not to fumble as he unlocks the door and they barely make it inside before he turns around, reaching for Jensen with his free hand and tangling his fingers in his shirt. He leans in, wanting to finally get the kiss he's been thinking about since Jensen first strolled into JD's, and Jensen makes a noise, backing Jared up against the wall behind him as he leans up and meets his lips. The wall is hard and cold against Jared's back, but Jensen's mouth is hot, the kiss quickly becoming deep and slick as Jensen cups his neck. 

Jared spreads his legs a little, groaning when Jensen presses between them, adding friction against Jared's cock. His keys are digging into his palm, hands fisted in the fabric of Jensen's shirt at the small of his back, but Jared doesn't care one bit, getting lost in the feeling of being kissed, of having another body against his. 

Their mouths move together, Jared happily surrendering to Jensen and parting his lips, letting Jensen lick into his mouth, kiss him until Jared is starting to feel dizzy.

He whimpers a little when Jensen breaks the kiss after a few moments, and Jensen lets out a sheepish laugh.

"We should probably at least make it into your apartment, baby," he says, and the pet name makes Jared's brain melt a little. He nods, but his hands are already reeling Jensen back in, and they share another kiss before Jared can finally tear himself away from Jensen.

The two flights of stairs up to his floor feel endless to Jared. Now that he's had a taste of Jensen, he can't wait for more, and he feels a surge of relief when they finally reach his apartment and he's got the door unlocked, pulling Jensen inside. 

This time, it's Jared who backs Jensen up against the wall, and before Jensen can pull him into a kiss, Jared sinks down onto his knees.

"Oh Jesus," Jensen groans and Jared smirks as he curls his hands around Jensen's hip and leans in, nuzzling Jensen through his jeans. 

"Wanna suck you," he murmurs, pressing his mouth to the thick outline of Jensen's cock. He's big, and Jared's mouth waters just at the thought of him in his mouth.

"Fuck, baby. Yes," Jensen says, his voice strained, and Jared loves that he can make him sound this wrecked just by being down on his knees for him. 

He undoes Jensen's jeans quickly and hooks his fingers under the elastic of his underwear, pulling it down along with the jeans, and Jensen's hands settle heavily on his shoulders, letting out a small noise as his dick comes free.

"God," Jared murmurs. It's even better than he thought, long and thick and as damn beautiful as the rest of the guy. 

He's already half-hard and Jared wastes no more time getting his mouth on him. He curls his hand around the base, licks around the tip and then wraps his lips around the head. Jensen moans and his hips twitch, but he doesn't thrust forward and Jared takes him in deeper. 

"Oh _fuck_," Jensen hisses.

Jared hollows his cheeks, sucking a little and feeling Jensen fatten up further. He works Jensen to full hardness, enjoying the way Jensen feels in his mouth, the way he has to work to suck him down deep. He starts bobbing his head up and down and stroking the last few inches of Jensen's cock with his hand. 

"Fuck, baby. Your mouth," Jensen slurs, his words sounding breathless.

Jared grins around him. He revels in the noises spilling from Jensen, deep and needy. This is why Jared loves sucking cock, the thrill it gives him knowing he's driving a guy crazy with his mouth.

When Jensen's hands come up from his shoulders to tangle in his hair, giving it a small tug, Jared hums and Jensen echoes it with a loud groan. Jared pulls off with a wet pop and suckles on the tip, teasing the slit with his tongue and tasting the salty, slightly bitter precome there. His own cock is hard too, trapped painfully in his too tight pants.

"Jared," Jensen grunts, and Jared smiles, looking up at Jensen through his lashes as he lets Jensen slowly slide back into his mouth again. Jensen is flushed, his eyes dark and mouth parted, his lips puffy and red like he's been biting on them. He slides one of his hands to the side of Jared's face, fingers trailing over his cheek to the corner of his mouth, brushing over the piercing Jared has there.

Jared hums, watching Jensen shudder at the sensation, and relaxes his throat as he lets Jensen slide in deeper, until he hits the back of his throat, and Jensen lets out a long, drawn-out moan. Jared's jaw is starting to ache, but he doesn't care one bit. 

He pulls back a little and then cups Jensen's hip, tugging at it. Jensen groans out a _fuck_, and starts rocking forward, and Jared lets him fuck his mouth, lets him push his cock deep into him over and over.

"Jared. Gonna come," Jensen pants. "Oh shit, baby. You're so damn good at this." 

Jared makes a noise around Jensen, blinking wetly, and Jensen freezes and then shudders, spilling stickily inside of Jared's mouth with a small cry. Gripping Jensen's hip to hold him still, Jared works him through it, swallowing as much as he can and sucking on Jensen until he makes a pained noise and gives Jared a nudge. 

"Fuck," Jensen hums, sounding a little awed, and Jared feels a little smug. He licks his lips, savoring the taste of Jensen there, and cups himself, groaning at the pressure on his dick.

"Come here," Jensen says, hands grabbing Jared and pulling him up. Jared stumbles forward into him as Jensen drags him into a kiss, fingers twisting in Jared's hair while sliding his other hand down Jared's back to his ass. 

They make out, Jared grinding against Jensen, while hands roam and grip and tug at clothing. 

"Bed," Jensen mumbles against his mouth, and Jared is more than happy with the suggestion. He curls his hand in Jensen's shirt and pulls him along, giving Jensen just enough time to pull his pants up. 

The light spilling into his bedroom from the open door is enough for Jared to find his way to his bed without bumping into anything and he turns the lamp on his nightstand on instead of the harsh overhead light. When he turns towards Jensen, Jensen is already kicking his pants off and unbuttoning his shirt. 

For a moment, Jared just takes in the sight. It's obvious that Jensen takes good care of himself and works out, his thighs thick and muscled and his stomach flat and shoulders broad. Heat coils low in Jared's belly.

"You gonna stay dressed?" Jensen asks, amusement coloring his voice, and Jared swallows thickly.

"Fuck no," he says and starts quickly pulling off his own clothes. Jensen just watches, a small grin on his lips, and Jared feels a mix of pride and embarrassment at Jensen watching him so openly.

"Lie down," Jensen says when Jared is fully naked. His tone is soft, but it's still an order and Jared feels a thrill go through him. He complies eagerly, lying down on his back and spreading his legs. 

"Fuck, baby. Look at you," Jensen murmurs, and the bed dips as he kneels down between Jared's legs. He puts his hands on Jared's hips and runs them up his sides, his touch warm and strong. "So fucking pretty."

Jared feels himself flush under Jensen's gaze, and he squirms a little. "Come kiss me," he says and Jensen grins, but leans down. He flicks his tongue over the ring going through the corner of his bottom lip and then seals his mouth over Jared's. He kisses Jared deep and slow, and Jared all but whimpers, arousal making him feel on edge. He tries in vain to hurry things along, but Jensen cups his face with one hand and keeps the pace languid, teasing. 

Jared is panting by the time they break the kiss, and Jensen smirks. He's a little flushed too, but the earlier orgasm obviously took the edge off for him, and Jared gets the feeling Jensen is enjoying driving him crazy. 

Jensen drags his thumb to the corner of Jared's mouth, eyes settling on his lips as he touches the piercing. "Was wondering what this would feel like to kiss you since I first saw you," he says. 

"And?" Jared asks and turns his head a little and wraps his lips around Jensen's thumb, swirling his tongue around it. 

Jensen's eyes go darker and he pushes his thumb a little deeper into Jared's mouth. "I like it," he murmurs. He pulls his finger free and drags it down to Jared's collarbone, over the tattoo of a quill on Jared's pec. "I like this too."

"Yeah?" Jared asks, and moans softly when Jensen reaches his nipple and runs his thumb over it in small circles, playing with the piercing there.

"Goddamn pretty all over," Jensen murmurs, and when he tugs at the piercing, Jared lets out a small whine and arches up.

"Please," he groans, and Jensen dips down to press a small kiss to his mouth.

"Please what, sweetheart?" he asks, his tone teasing. "Tell me what you want me to do. Want me to touch you? Suck you?" "Fuck me," Jared replies, his tone more pleading than he's proud of, but he's so damn hard and he wants Jensen inside him so bad.

Jensen makes a small, choked off noise. "Fuck yeah, baby," he grunts, and Jared quickly twists onto his side so he can reach his nightstand and retrieve condoms and a bottle of lube. He drops the foiled wrappers onto the bed for later and Jensen takes the lube from him. 

Then he kisses Jared again and as their tongue slide together slickly, Jared hears the sound of the bottle cap being flicked open. The anticipation in his belly coils tightly. Jensen shifts but he keeps kissing Jared, all deep and dirty now, as Jared feels slick fingers trail over his balls and then reach behind them, sliding back. He groans into Jensen's mouth as Jensen circles his hole and then slowly presses one finger in. 

"Jensen," he moans when Jensen's mouth slides from his and he rocks down onto the finger eagerly.

"Shh," Jensen whispers and kisses Jared's jaw. "I got you, baby."

He kisses a path down the side of Jared's neck, as he thrusts his finger in and out a few times and then nudges a second one in beside the first. Jared moans again and spreads his legs wider while tipping his head to the side to give Jensen better access. 

Jensen works him open slowly, kissing and nipping at Jared's neck, his chest, down to his nipples. Jared can feel Jensen's cock starting to fill again, pressing against his thigh, and he has to take deep breaths and try to calm down so he won't come just from Jensen fingering him, twisting and spreading his fingers inside of him. 

"Come on. Please. Please," he mumbles, hands pulling and pushing at Jensen's shoulders, not sure where he wants him to go. He grunts in protest when Jensen pulls out of him, his mind fuzzy with how good and frustrated he feels at the same time.

Jensen licks over his nipple, then presses a kiss to Jared's chest before sitting back. "Turn around, Jared," he says, his voice rough and raspy.

Jared sucks in a breath and eagerly twists around, getting up onto his hands and knees wordlessly. 

"God," Jensen all but growls, and the reaction makes Jared feel damn pleased. 

Jensen cups his left cheek in one hand, squeezing it and Jared expects to feel his cock push between his cheeks next, but instead he feels fingers rub over his hole again.

"Jensen," he pants and gasps when Jensen presses back into him. It's three fingers this time and the stretch burns a little, but it feels damn good, Jensen's fingers thick and long, and when he brushes against Jared's prostate, pleasure shoots up Jared's spine.

"More. Come on, give me more," he begs and rocks back. Jensen pulls his fingers out a little and then thrusts them back in, and Jared cries out hoarsely, the sound tapering off into moans as Jensen continues to fuck him with his fingers. Jared reaches for his cock, giving it a squeeze to stave off the orgasm.

"Jensen," he mutters in a strained voice, and Jensen finally seems to get the message that Jared is already too on edge, pulling his fingers free.

He listens to the crinkle of the foil wrapper being ripped open and the snick of the lube being uncapped again. It feels like forever as Jensen gets himself ready, and Jared takes a few breaths, trying to calm down.

The head of Jensen's cock feels thick when he nudges it up against Jared's hole, and Jared lets out a small grunt as Jensen starts pressing forward, suddenly glad Jensen didn't stop at two fingers. He feels even bigger than he looks, and Jared bears down on him as Jensen pushes into him, stopping when the head is in. 

"Okay?" he asks thickly, and Jared nods, curling his fingers into the pillow under him. It hurts a little, but it's not a bad pain, the stretch of being filled familiar and welcome to Jared.

"Keep going," he says, and Jensen starts moving again. He pushes in deeper slowly, both of them groaning. 

"Fuck, you're tight, baby. Feel fucking amazing," Jensen murmurs breathlessly, as he works himself in the last few inches with small rolls of his hips until his hips are pressed flush up against Jared's ass. Jared feels like he's being split open around Jensen and it's been long enough that it takes some getting used to again, but it's amazing, pleasure coiling deep in his gut. Jensen gives him a few moments, his hands on Jared's hips and his breathing harsh.

"Move," Jared murmurs after a few moments, feeling himself relaxing around Jensen. 

Jensen draws back and sinks right back in with one long stroke, and the way he slides up against Jared's prostate makes him cry out. 

"Good?" Jensen asks unnecessarily, and Jared can only make another noise and rock back against Jensen, his arms and legs already trembling.

Jensen seems to be past teasing and taking it slow now, and he grips Jared tightly by the hips, starts fucking him deep and hard, and Jared arches back into his thrusts eagerly. The slick sound of skin slapping against skin and their moans mingle in the room, the bed creaking under them as they move together.

Jared comes first, his orgasm crashing over him and heat spreading through him like molten lava. He cries out loudly and then gasps when Jensen hauls him back against him with a groan, rutting into him with sloppy thrusts as he fucks Jared through his orgasm and the aftershocks wracking his body, and when it feels like it's almost too much, Jensen grunts and buries himself deep one last time before he comes as well.

Jared feels sleepy and boneless and sticky, fucked raw, and he makes a protesting noise when Jensen untangles himself from him.

Blinking fuzzily, Jared asks, "Leaving?"

Jensen grunts in affirmation as he rolls out of bed. "Yeah," he says, and Jared doesn't try to stop him as much as he wouldn't mind Jensen spending the night. 

Groaning, he sits up and then leans over the edge of the mattress to reach for his discarded underwear.

"I can let myself out," Jensen says, picking up his own clothes from the floor. 

"Let me at least walk you to the door," Jared replies. He wipes his stomach clean with his sheets and then slides into his boxer-briefs as Jensen finishes getting dressed.

"Want me to call you a cab?" Jared asks, and Jensen slips his shoes on.

"Nah, I'll walk back to the bar and get my car," he says. "Easier than getting it tomorrow." "Okay," Jared says. He trails after Jensen out of the bedroom. "You know the way?" "Yeah. If not, I'll use my phone," Jensen says and then turns around. "So, uh, thanks for tonight?"

Jared grins and ducks his head. "Pretty sure I should be the one thanking you," he says, and Jensen gives a small laugh. 

He crowds up against Jared, tips his head up and kisses him before drawing back. "Maybe we can repeat it sometime," he murmurs, and Jared nods quickly.

"Anytime," he says. "You know where to find me." "Hmm, yeah," Jensen says and pulls back completely. "See you, Jared." "Bye," Jared says and they share a grin as Jensen pulls the door open, and Jared really hopes there'll be a repeat of tonight soon.

It's a week before Jensen shows up at the bar again, and by then Jared has almost started giving up hope. He'd been almost giddy the first couple days after their night together, on a high from how fucking amazing it had been, but when Jensen hadn't shown up again by the following few days he'd definitely moped a little much to his co-workers amusement.

"He can't have been that damn good," Jeff had teased and when Jared's shoulders slumped, he'd groaned. "Seriously? That good looking _and_ that good in bed? The universe is a fucking bitch sometimes." "Yeah," Jared had replied and tried not to pout. 

Given Jared's pretty depressing track record with guys, it wouldn't have been a surprise if Jensen actually had never shown up again. But then, a week after they went home together, Jensen comes in with a pretty woman with long red hair. 

Jared catches sight of them just as they come in and his heart does a stupid little flip in his chest. The woman whispers something to Jensen and Jared has a feeling they're talking about him when she looks at the bar and her eyes land on him. Jensen gives her a little shove and he looks Jared's way as well and gives him a nod. 

Jared waves quickly, grinning a little and Jensen returns it before nudging his friend towards an empty table.

"Your guy is back," Gen says with a smirk when she comes after the bar after taking Jensen and his friend's order. 

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Jared snarks. "And he's not my guy. It was just a one night stand."

"That so?" Genevieve says. "Because you've been moping and pouting for the last week and all it took was him walking in for your mood to do a one-eighty."

Jared sticks his tongue out at her and places the last cocktail for the group of five by the door onto the tray. "Order's done," he says pointedly.

Gen picks the tray up with a grin. "You have excellent taste, by the way."

"Unlike you," Jared shoots back and then goes to prepare the next order, trying hard not to look at Jensen and his friend. It takes a lot of willpower to focus on work, and he's quite proud of himself for not messing up any orders when all he wants to do is stare at Jensen and hope for him to look back.

They're busy enough that Jared barely has time to ogle Jensen though, and he gets so busy he doesn't even notice when Jensen comes over to the bar until he's leaning against it.

"Jensen, hi," Jared says, and he feels a little stupid for how nervous he feels talking to Jensen again after a week.

"Hey," Jensen replies.

"Everything okay with your drinks?" Jared asks, fiddling with the towel he's got hanging over his shoulder.

"Yeah. The drinks are great. Just wanted to say hi," Jensen says with a shrug and laughs sheepishly. "Is that awkward?"

"Not at all," Jared replies a little too quickly and then grins. "Hi."

"Hi," Jensen repeats, grinning back at Jared. It makes those crinkles around his eyes appear again and Jared can't look away from him. 

"How was your week?" he asks politely, but his tone is teasing. 

"Pretty good. I had a really good weekend, so that helped put me in a good mood," Jensen replies and Jared feels his stomach swoop a little. He's so damn helplessly drawn to this guy. He thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time around, that hooking up would have taken the edge off how attracted he feels to Jensen, but if anything it's even worse now.

"Well, that's good. Maybe this weekend should be just as great then, so you'll have another good week ahead of you," Jared suggests hopefully, and silently prays that Jensen will take him up on the offer. Jared is dying to get his hands back on Jensen, to kiss and touch him again, to have Jensen fuck him again.

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and smile. "I'm here with a friend tonight, but I could do tomorrow night. Are you working?"

"Yeah," Jared says with wrinkle of his nose. "Sorry."

Jensen shrugs. "Well. When does your shift end?"

"About 11," Jared says. "If that's not too late for you..."

Jensen smiles. "No, yeah, that's not too bad. If you're still up for swinging around my place that late," he offers and quirks an eyebrow.

Jared nods quickly. "Yeah, definitely." 

Jensen nods as well and then fumbles with something in his jeans, pulling out a card, sliding it over the counter. It's a business card and there's a cell phone number written down on the back in blue ballpen.

"You always carry these around to pass out to guys?" Jared teases and Jensen flushes a little.

"I wrote it down at the table before I came over here," he admits, and Jared wants to gloat at that, knowing Jensen came here with the intention to hook up with Jared again. 

He grins and makes a show of pocketing the card. "I'll text you tomorrow then," he says.

"Perfect," Jensen says and then rubs the back of his neck. "Okay, I'll let you get back to work now. See you tomorrow, Jared."

Jared nods, smiling, and definitely watches Jensen as he turns around and heads back to the table. His eyes meet Jensen's friend's, who is watching him watch Jensen with an amused grin, her eyebrow quirked up, and Jared flushes and ducks his head.

The second time is just as good as the first and they fuck twice that night before Jared calls a cab and leaves, not wanting to put Jensen on the spot by asking to stay the night. 

It becomes a regular thing after that. Jensen comes over to Jared's the following week on one of Jared's days off and he drops by the bar a few more times as well, chatting to Jared when Jared isn't too busy and waiting for his shift to end so they can go back to Jared's together.

Jared waits for things to fizzle out, but if anything he finds himself liking Jensen more and more the more time they spend together. And it's not just sex—which is, admittedly, fucking amazing. He _likes_ Jensen and they get along pretty well, their conversations casual and easy.

Eventually, they progress from texting each other to coordinate hook-ups to shooting each other random texts every once in a while, and sometimes Jensen shows up at the bar, with his friend Danneel or on his own, even when he knows Jared's shift ends too late for them to hook up. 

"Wasn't your boyfriend here earlier?" Jeff asks one night when he comes out of his office to help Jared behind the bar.

"He just dropped by for a drink, he has to get up early for work tomorrow," Jared says and then tags on, "And he's not my boyfriend, asshole."

"He hangs out at my bar and distracts you an awful lot for not being your boyfriend," Jeff shoots back teasingly, a smirk on his face. 

"I think the tips he leaves more than make up for that," Jared replies. "Not that he distracts me anyway." Jeff raises his eyebrows, clearly amused, and Jared decides he's enjoying mocking him way too much. 

"You spend all your time ogling him when he's here," Jeff points out. "I'm _attentive,_" Jared says and moves around Jeff to grab a bottle of vodka from the shelf, bumping into him on purpose and jostling him a little. Jeff catches himself quickly, looking unfazed. 

"Attentive my ass. To his dick, maybe," he replies under his breath, barely loud enough for Jared to hear, and then turns to the two women sitting at the bar in front of them, watching them, and says more loudly and cheerfully, "What can I get you ladies?"

Jared has to try hard not to choke on the laughter he tries valiantly to suppress.

"Damn it," Jared curses when the bus starts moving before he can make it across the street to catch it. 

Rain is coming down heavy and he sighs loudly. He could wait for the next bus, but he'll be faster walking home and he's already drenched, his t-shirt sticking to his skin and his hair plastered in his forehead. So he turns and heads down the sidewalk, ducking his head down so the rain won't hit him right in the face. 

The sound of a horn startles him and he jumps a little, turning around to watch a car slowing down next to him. He squints, his steps faltering, and then he stops when the window rolls down and he recognizes Jensen.

"Get in," Jensen says, parking the car and Jared nods and quickly sprints around the car to the passenger side. The driver behind Jensen honks impatiently and Jared raises his hand in apology and rolls his eyes at the same time as he pulls the door open.

"I'm gonna get everything wet," he says, hesitating.

"Doesn't matter," Jensen says. "Come on." 

Jared doesn't need to be told twice, sliding into the car and pulling the door closed. "Thank you," he says and runs a hand over his face, wiping away drops of water. 

Jensen nods. "No problem, Jay," he says, eyes fixed on the street. He's driving slowly, the windshield wipers quickly sliding back and forth with soft squeaks. "It's fucking insane out there." "Yeah," Jared agrees. "You coming from work?"

"Hmmm," Jensen replies and grins a little. "Lucky for you." "Yeah, I really wasn't looking forward to having to walk through that weather," Jared admits. 

"Are you on your way home as well?" Jensen asks, even though he's already heading in the direction of Jared's place. "Aren't you working tonight?"

"Got today off. I was just dropping by because I forgot my wallet at the bar last night," Jared explains and frowns guiltily down at his shoes where a puddle is building. He's dripping all over the seat too, and it's a pretty nice car. "I was hoping I could make it there and back home before the rain. Which, obviously, didn't work out."

Jensen laughs softly. "Well, if it's any consolation, you look pretty damn good all soaking wet," he teases, and Jared laughs. "Thanks," he says. "I feel more like a drowned rat though."

He shifts uncomfortably and shudders. It's not cold outside, but he's still starting to feel a little chilly, now that he's out of the rain.

"Cold?" Jensen guesses, his voice soft, and he's already reaching to turn up the heat.

"It's okay. I'm gonna be home in a few minutes anyway," he says. "You wanna come in, maybe? I was gonna order some pizza. We can hang out… and you can help me warm up."

Jensen glances at him, smiling, before he turns his attention back to the road. "How can I say no to that?" "Well, I was hoping you couldn't," Jared replies coyly, and Jensen laughs softly.

They reach Jared's street a few minutes later and Jensen finds a parking spot a few buildings down from Jared's. 

"Wait," he says before Jared can open his door and get out. He twists around, rummaging around the backseat for a second before coming back with an umbrella.

He gets out first, then jogs around to Jared's side so he can get under the umbrella as well and they hurry down the sidewalk together, their shoes hitting the pavement with wet splats.

It's the first time Jensen has been at his place that they don't head straight for the bedroom. Jared goes to change into a dry pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt, taking a minute to towel off his hair so he's at least not dripping everywhere anymore. When he comes back out into his living-room, Jensen is studying his bookcase. 

"You have a lot of books," he notes, glancing back at Jared.

Jared shrugs. "I like reading." 

Jensen hums, and waves at Jared's chest. "Explains the tattoo."

"Yeah," Jared says. "I got it after graduating from college."

He can see the surprise on Jensen's face and he grins a little. "Didn't see that coming?" he asks, and Jensen's cheeks grow pink.

"Sorry," he says sheepishly. "I guess I shouldn't be. I just thought—" 

"That I'm just a bartender," Jared says, but he's not offended. There's no way Jensen could have known that Jared has a degree. "It's okay. Most people do." 

Jensen looks a little relieved at Jared's reaction, relaxing and nodding. "What did you study?" he asks. 

"English. I was gonna become a teacher," Jared says and shrugs, moving towards the kitchen to get the menu from his favorite pizza place that he has stuck to the fridge.

"But you didn't," Jensen says when Jared comes back and hands him the folded pamphlet.

Jared sighs. "It's complicated," he says and then snorts at how cliché it sounds. He glances at Jensen, who looks genuinely curious, waiting for him to elaborate.

"I love reading and I loved studying, learning new things. Going into teaching was the obvious choice, but… there was a lot of things going on in my life while I went to college. With my family and figuring out who I was," he says. "I was having a really hard time for a while. With accepting who I was, knowing my family wouldn't like it. _Hell_, I didn't like myself very much because of it for a while."

"I'm sorry, Jay," Jensen says softly. 

Jared offers Jensen a small smile. "It's okay. It got better, obviously," he says. "Anyway, I started working at the bar my senior year. I made better friends there than I ever had at college or back home. I met people I felt comfortable with and could talk to and be myself around. Jeff, especially."

"Your boss, right?" Jensen asks.

"Yeah," Jared says and nods. "Thing was, the more I was becoming myself, the more alienated I felt from this version of myself I was trying to be before. It didn't fit anymore. And the less I tried to be that, the better I felt. So after graduating I decided to work at the bar full-time, at least for a while, and well, I'm still there now, obviously. I like my job. I'm happy there."

"That's kinda all that matters, if you ask me," Jensen says, and he sounds genuine. "You're doing okay for yourself."

Jared smiles and shrugs. "Well, I'm not a fancy lawyer or anything."

Jensen catches him around the waist, pulling him closer. "I like that about you," he says and cups Jared's face with one hand, brushing his thumb over the piercing on the right side of Jared's bottom lip. 

"Hmm, yeah?" Jared asks and turns his head to kiss Jensen's thumb, before nipping at it.

Jensen lets out a stifled groan. "You're distracting," he says, and Jared chuckles and leans in to kiss Jensen. Jensen returns the kiss easily and Jared hears something flutter to the ground, figuring it's the menu he handed Jensen. But he guesses pizza can wait.

"Couch," he mumbles between kisses, but Jensen draws back and shakes his head. He curls his hand around Jared's wrist with a grin and pulls him towards the bedroom instead. 

He stops by the end of the bed and turns to Jared, pulling him closer with a tug. "Come here," he says, and wraps his arms around Jared. He slides his hands down the back of Jared's shorts and underwear and pushes the material down over the curve of Jared's ass, letting them slip down his legs. 

Jared steps out of them, kicking them aside and reaching for the hem of his shirt, stripping out of it quickly.

Jensen takes a step back, his hands on Jared's hips, and looks him up and down with a grin. 

"Lay down for me, baby," he orders softly, and Jared bites back a moan, his cock already filling rapidly. He settles on the bed, while Jensen starts undressing as well, and then joins him. They lie side by side, and Jensen cups the back of Jared's neck as he leans in to kiss him, thumb stroking over his skin slowly. 

They make out almost lazily for a few moments, bodies pressed together and legs tangled, both of their cocks starting to harden as they move together. Finally, Jensen pulls back and nudges Jared onto his back and crawls between his legs.

He frames Jared's hips with his hands and then drags them up to his waist, squeezing it gently, and Jared looks down, heat settling in his stomach at the sight of Jensen's hands on his skin, the way his fingers span around his waist, big and strong. Jensen leans over him and kisses him, flicking his tongue over Jared's piercing and then tugging at it with his teeth as he draws back again.

"So hot," he murmurs, and Jared squirms a little. He likes it when Jensen says things like that, when he praises him, likes knowing Jensen thinks he's attractive. 

Jensen slips down, brushing kisses down his neck to his collarbone. He stops there, pressing his mouth to his tattoo there and then licking at it. Jared can tell he's tracing the outline of the quill, and he groans softly. He licks and kisses, mapping out the ink spilling from the tip of the feather in lines and drops.

"Jensen," Jared pleads and he feels only a little embarrassed by how needy he sounds, how Jensen can make him this desperate with just a few touches. He's rewarded by Jensen flicking the small hoop going through his nipple with his tongue and his hand comes up to play with the other one, tugging at it and rubbing over it, making Jared moan and arch up under him.

"Patience, baby," Jensen murmurs. He grabs Jared's right wrist and turns his hand palm up, pinning it down gently and then places kisses over the tattoo on Jared's inner forearm. "What does this one mean?"

Jared takes a breath, trying to calm down a little. "It's a quote from a Pearl Jam song. Release," he says. 

"Hmm, I thought it sounded familiar," Jensen says and pulls back a little. He touches Jared's other wrist, where he has a tattoo of rainbow colors, running into each other like watercolors dripping down his arm. "Don't need to ask what this means."

"Good. We can move things along then," Jared teases, a little breathless, and lifts his hips pointedly. His cock is laying against his belly, hard and the tip wet with precome. Jensen laughs softly, eyes falling down to Jared's dick. He scoots further down the mattress and leans down, and Jared groans when he nuzzles his cock.

"Yeah," he breathes softly, hands finding the back of Jensen's head and he runs his fingers into his hair as Jensen places a couple of kisses to his dick. But then he turns his head and brushes his mouth over Jared's hip instead where he has a tattoo of a small lotus flower. 

"What about this one?" he asks in a murmur and then bites the spot he just licked. 

"Jensen," Jared gasps, hips twitching up again. "Come on, please." 

"Tell me," Jensen says, ignoring Jared's pleas. Jared groans in frustration.

"It's stands for enlightenment and… and rebirth," he says and then hisses when Jensen bites him again before sucking at the skin. As much as he wants more, wants Jensen's mouth on his dick, it feels good, and he moans when Jensen takes the skin between his teeth and then lets go, trailing his tongue over the spot.

When Jensen eventually decides to leave the tattoo alone, Jared mutters a "fucking finally" under his breath. Jensen snickers and then curls his hand around Jared's dick and Jared cries out when tight, wet heat surrounds the tip and Jensen sucks him down. 

It's not until hours later, after Jensen has left—after kissing Jared breathless one last time and promising to drop by the bar that week—and Jared stumbles into the bathroom to clean up that he gets a good look at his hip. There's a clear bite mark around the black outline of the lotus flower, red and purple, and Jared feels a flutter deep in his belly.

Jensen stays overnight for the first time a couple of weeks later. It's not really intentional. They both drift off after two rounds of fucking and when Jared wakes up the next morning, Jensen is still there, fast asleep. 

Jensen stops slipping out after sex every time after that, spending the night once in a while and making breakfast for them with the few meager things he can scrape together from Jared's fridge. They have dinner together occasionally, when their schedules allow it, and they start hanging out on the weekends before Jared's shifts start.

It feels _almost_ like a relationship, and Jared knows it's not, but sometimes he finds himself getting lost in the illusion. Like when he wakes up curled up against Jensen's side, wrapped in his arms. 

They briefly talk about it once, sitting at the kitchen counter and having a late night snack and some water after a quick, sloppy fuck on the couch, both of them a little tipsy after having a few shots together at the bar at the end of Jared's shift.

"I don't wanna be more than friends with benefits," Jensen says, licking mayo off his finger. "That's still cool, right? 'Cause I feel like we have become friends and I don't want things to get messy between us."

"It's cool, yeah," Jared says. It's not a total lie. He'd be happy if they were more, but he knows that's not what Jensen is looking for, and he likes how things are between them. He likes hanging out and he likes hooking up and if that's all there is, he's still not gonna complain, because things between them are good. They're easy.

"I never had a friends with benefits thing with anyone," Jensen says with a small grin. "Never been much for just hooking up either." 

"What changed?" Jared asks, and plucks a pickle out of the jar, popping it into his mouth. Jensen watches him and makes a face. 

"Gross," he mutters and then sighs. "I told you my last break-up was messy." 

"Yeah," Jared says while still chewing. 

"Yeah, so… I need a break from that," Jensen says. "I just want something _easy_."

Jared nods and then grins widely. "Well, lucky you, I'm real easy." 

Jensen laughs. 

Jensen's phone keeps buzzing. He checks his messages the first few times it happens, but then he tosses his phone towards the other end of the couch and ignores it the next few times it vibrates. 

Jared raises his eyebrows in question, but doesn't say anything, and Jensen groans.

"I'll turn it off," he offers.

"It's okay," Jared says. They're watching a game together and while the buzzing is a little distracting, Jared doesn't really care. He's become pretty damn good at tuning out noises after years of working as a bartender.

"It's my friends," Jensen says with a frown.

"Everything okay?" Jared asks, keeping his tone casual. 

"They're just asking me why I'm not coming out to a bar with them to watch the game and being annoying." 

"And why don't you?" 

Jensen looks at Jared pointedly and raises his eyebrow, and Jared laughs. 

"Okay, yeah. But we can join them, if you wanna; we can always come back here later." 

"Nah," Jensen says and then sighs. "Remember that break-up I told you about?" 

"Yeah," Jared says. Jensen has brought his last relationship up a few times, but he's never really told Jared much about it other than that it was a bad break-up. Jared never prodded him for more info, not sure how much he really wants to know about Jensen's ex anyway and feeling like it's not his place to make Jensen talk about it.

"We basically have the same friend group. So it's all weird now," Jensen says with a small smile. "Like I said, it was pretty damn messy and we haven't really talked since, so having the same friends is complicating things. They kinda think we should get back together."

Jared hums. "What happened?"

Jensen tips his head against the back of the couch. "He cheated." 

"He cheated," Jared echoes. "And your friends still think you should make up? Look, not to hate on your friends, but shouldn't they side with you and tell your ex to go fuck off?"

"Yeah, but I dumped him. He… Justin was always pretty good at manipulating people. Not in a bad way, just… he knows how to get people to empathize with him, see things from his perspective," Jensen says with a shrug. He straightens again and reaches for his beer, taking a long swig before shrugging and clearing his throat. "Yeah, he cheated, but the way he tells it I'm also to blame, you know? I was the one who worked too much, who wasn't around and giving him what he needed. I screwed up the relationship." 

"That's bullshit," Jared says. The game is completely forgotten now and he turns sideways on the couch to face Jensen. He looks unbothered, but Jared knows he's not, can see the pain and frustration beneath his calm facade. 

"I don't know. Maybe, yeah. He accepted part of the blame for cheating, so it's not like he's saying he didn't mess up. But the way our friends saw it he was willing to fix things and make it work, and I wasn't. I wasn't putting the time in." 

"Bull_shit_," Jared repeats, "you cheat, that's on you. It doesn't matter if your partner maybe wasn't giving you everything you need. If that's the case, you try to work it out or you break up, but you don't just go and fuck around with someone else." 

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and gives him a small smile. "I know. But that's not the way he sees it and my friends seem to agree that I should forgive him and move past it."

Jared snorts, shaking his head a little. "Nah, once a cheater, always a cheater," he says. "And as for you not putting the time in? I know you work hard and put in a lot of hours, but you still make plenty of time for me anyway." 

"Maybe I didn't with him," Jensen argues, but he's smiling.

"Maybe he was an asshole," Jared counters.

Jensen laughs. "Yeah, looking back at it now, I think you're right," he agrees. 

"And your friends are assholes for not seeing it that way," Jared adds, knowing he might be pushing things too far, insulting Jensen's friends. But he hates how dejected Jensen sounds talking about the whole thing.

Jensen shrugs. "Doesn't really matter," he says and leans into Jared, nudging him with his shoulder. "I'd much rather watch the game with you than them anyway." "Yeah?"

Jensen smirks at him. "Well, yeah, you put out afterwards. They don't."

Jared has three missed calls from Jensen when he checks his phone during a break. Frowning, he calls back right away. It rings six times and he almost hangs up when Jensen finally picks up. 

"Hey Jay," Jensen greets, his voice rough. Worry settles in Jared's stomach.

"Hey. Are you okay?" he asks. 

Jensen lets out a soft huff and it sounds wet, pained. Like maybe he's on the verge of tears. "Not… not really. I just wanted to let you know I won't be around for a little while," he says. "I gotta head home to Dallas." 

Jared's stomach clenches with worry instantly, knowing if Jensen is heading home something must be wrong. He knows Jensen is close to his family, but with how busy he is at work he wouldn't just take time off to see them if everything was fine. "Is your family okay?" 

"My… my dad had a heart attack," Jensen says quietly and sniffs.

"Shit, Jensen. I'm so sorry. How's he doing? Is he okay?" Jared asks, his heart aching for Jensen. 

"Not sure. The doctors seem to be optimistic, but it's too soon to really tell. I'm getting on the next flight," Jensen says. Jared has never heard him sound like that, so scared and small, and Jensen should never sound like that. 

"Shit," Jared huffs. "Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?" 

"No. But thank you for asking," Jensen says and Jared hears a voice saying something over speakers in the background. "I gotta go now, sweetheart. We're boarding."

"Okay. Keep me posted, okay? And let me know if there's anything I can do. I mean it, Jensen—_anything_," Jared says softly. 

"I will. Thank you… just… hearing your voice was good," Jensen admits. 

"No need to thank me, Jensen," Jared says. "Text me when you land, okay?" "Yeah," Jensen agrees, and after they hang up Jared lets out a slow breath. His stomach feels in knots with worry for Jensen. He knows Jensen is pretty close to his family and his dad, especially, means the world to him. 

He wishes there was something he could do, that he could be there for Jensen and support him, or even just give him a hug. He knows he'll be checking his phone religiously for the next few hours, waiting for Jensen to call.

Jared gets a text from Jensen that he landed safely later during his shift, but he hears nothing else from him until the next morning. It takes him a while to fall asleep, because he keeps checking his phone, just in case Jensen texted again and he somehow missed it. He finally drifts off and by the time he drags himself out of bed the next day, he has two texts from Jensen.

_He's gonna be okay. I just talked to him a second before he fell asleep again. He's pretty out of it, but he'll pull through. _

__

The second one reads: _I'm going back home to my parents' to catch some sleep. I'll probably stay here for a few days, at least. Talk to you later._

__

Jared breathes a sigh of relief. If Jensen's dad hadn't made it, he's pretty sure he would have hopped onto the next plane to be with Jensen. 

_Thank fucking god,_ he texts back. _Call me if you need anything. Take care of yourself._

__

Jensen replies almost immediately with _Thanks, baby_. _I'll call after a nap._

__

Jensen stays in Dallas for a week. They talk on the phone a couple of times and text every day and Jared even sends some flowers to the hospital, because he feels like he should do something. He second-guesses his decision moments after he places the order, because he doubts Jensen's parents even know he exists and Jensen's dad probably doesn't care about flowers and Jensen might think it's totally inappropriate that the guy he's casually fucking is doing this.

He frets and worries about it, until he gets a message from Jensen that says, _You made my momma cry, asshole._

__

Jared bites his lip and texts back, _Sorry?_

__

_Don't be. She thought is was very sweet and it made my dad laugh. Thank you_. 

Jared pretty much feels on cloud nine after that.

Jensen shows up at Jared's place with a suitcase on Sunday night a week after he left and Jared knows he must have come straight from the airport. He looks tired but okay and Jared pulls him into a hug the moment the door to his apartment has fallen shut.

"How are you?" he murmurs into the side of Jensen's head.

Jensen kisses his neck in reply and hugs him tighter. "Okay. The flight really sucked."

Jared holds on for a few more seconds before stepping back. "You want some food? Or a nap?" he suggests, stroking his hand up and down Jensen's arm. "I can run you a bath. The tub is kinda cramped but I've got some bath salts that are supposed to help you relax and soothe your muscles or something that Gen gave me for my birthday last year."

Jensen pushes closer again and sighs, nosing at Jared's jaw. "Honestly?" he says, his voice low and quiet. "I just wanna take you to bed, baby."

Jared's breath hitches and he nods. "Fuck, yeah. Okay," he says with a small laugh and Jensen tips his head back and grins. He looks like he could use some sleep, but Jared isn't going to push the issue. If Jensen wants sex, Jared is more than happy to oblige and he can always sleep afterwards.

He lets his hand slide down to Jensen's, tangling their fingers together, and drags him to his bedroom. They tumble onto the bed together, both still fully dressed, and Jared oofs under Jensen's weight, making them both laugh as their lips meet for a kiss.

Jensen pushes his hand under Jared's shirt, fingers trailing over bare skin, and Jared shudders beneath him as his mouth parts to let Jensen's tongue slide in. Jared loves kissing Jensen, loves the way it's slow and lazy sometimes, and sloppy and dirty others. It's like Jensen always knows just what Jared is in the mood for, just what he needs, and he's a fucking great kisser. 

As his hands slide up Jared's sides, all the way up to his chest, Jared groans into his mouth and arches up against Jensen eagerly.

"Missed you," he mumbles when they break the kiss, the words slipping out before he can think about it.

"Yeah?" Jensen asks. He trails his hand over Jared's chest, squeezing his pec before tugging at his nipple piercing. Jared groans. 

"Fuck yeah," he says and rocks up against Jensen. "Been just me and my hand for a week."

"Oh?" Jensen prods playfully, and Jared laughs.

"Well, and my favorite vibrator," he admits teasingly.

Jensen stills on top of him and he pushes himself up, looking down at Jared with dark eyes. "Seriously?"

Jared licks his lips and shrugs. "Yeah?"

"Fuck," Jensen grunts. He dips down, kisses Jared firmly, and then draws back again. "That's so fucking hot. Tell me about it? You like using toys, baby?"

He pushes Jared's shirt up under his armpits and then scoots down, dipping down and biting at Jared's chest hard enough to sting.

"Jensen," Jared groans, arching his chest up into it and Jensen runs his tongue over his nipple piercing, playing with it for a moment.

"Tell me," he repeats in a murmur. "Did it feel good?"

His teeth close around Jared's nipple, tongue flicking the ring.

"Y—yeah," Jared hisses. 

Jensen pulls back and his hands fumble with Jared's jeans, popping the button open and roughly pulling them down along with his underwear. Jared lifts his hips so Jensen can pull both off and then Jensen leans down and kisses him, dirty and deep, biting at Jared's lip, and Jared tangles his fingers in Jensen's short hair and gives as good as he gets.

It's messy and needy and amazing. They can barely let go of each long enough to get naked, kissing and biting and groping each other. Once all of their clothes are scattered around them and Jensen has retrieved the lube, he flips Jared over onto his stomach. 

"Did you think about me?" he asks, as he sinks two fingers right into Jared, and Jared groans and arches back, the fire in his stomach already building. "Did you think about my fingers inside of you, my cock inside of you when you were fucking yourself with your toy, baby?"

"Yeah," Jared grits out, moaning when Jensen rubs against his prostate.

"And?" Jensen asks, his lips brushing against his ear. "Was it good?"

"Yes," Jared says, rocking back onto Jensen's finger. "But not nearly as fucking good as the real thing."

"Good," Jensen murmurs and crooks his fingers inside Jared just so, making him bury his face in the pillow as he cries out.

Jared wakes up with Jensen sprawled out over half of his chest, one leg tangled between Jared's.

He shifts carefully to get more comfortable while trying not to wake Jensen up. He's a little sore and just the memory of last night makes him smile, sated and happy that Jensen is back in town.

One week shouldn't have been enough to make him miss Jensen, but he's gotten used to having Jensen around, to seeing him every few days. It's only now that he had to go without him for a week that he realizes just how much Jensen has become part of his life and how much it means to him. And not just because they have great sex. He can talk to Jensen and laugh with him and be himself around him.

Jensen makes a snuffling noise, mumbling something, but he doesn't wake up. Slowly, carefully, Jared trails his hand down Jensen's back and presses a kiss to the top of his head, and Jensen settles back down again.

"Fuck," Jared murmurs quietly to himself. 

He's in love with Jensen. And the most surprising thing about that is how absolutely not surprised Jared is at the revelation.

"This place is a lot less exciting during the day," Jensen says, looking around the bar. It's just barely after 5pm on a Saturday, and while a few people have trickled in already, most of the tables are still empty.

Jared grins. "We just opened, asshole," he says. "And I thought you were here because _I'm _exciting." 

"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe take me into the backroom and remind me?" Jensen says with a small grin, batting his eyelashes at him.

"I wish I could," Jared replies and glances at the few tables that are already occupied, Matt taking orders. "And talking about _not exciting_. You're the one who went into his office on a Saturday to work. That's just sad."

"I had some things to catch up on," Jensen defends himself. Jared just grins and then pours the cocktail he just mixed into a glass. He grabs a napkin, puts it down in front of Jensen, and places the drink down onto it.

"Try this. It's a new recipe," he says. 

Jensen gives him a slightly dubious look, but he picks the glass up and takes a sip. Jared watches him make a thoughtful face and take another gulp before setting it down.

"Not bad," he says.

"Not bad?" Jared echoes, faking a glare.

Jensen grins. "I like my drinks with a bit more bite," he says. "But it's good."

"Yeah? I can get you something else if it's not your thing," Jared suggests. "I'm just messing around with a few recipes anyway." 

"Nah, this is fine," Jensen says. "I'm not gonna stay long. Just wanted to pop in and say hi."

Jared feels a pang of disappointment and for a second he thinks about trying to change Jensen's mind. He probably could, with a bit of wheedling and a few promises of rewards, but Jensen looks like he could use a night in. Between the hours he's been putting in at work and the thing with his dad, he must be exhausted. He's been working hard to catch up with the work he missed while he was in Dallas and Jared knows he's on the phone with his parents constantly, checking in and making sure his dad is doing alright. 

And Saturday nights at the bar are busy anyway, so Jared wouldn't even have time for Jensen even if he stayed.

"I'm not working tomorrow," he offers casually instead. 

Jensen definitely looks interested at that. "No?" he asks. "Any plans for the day?" 

"Not yet," Jared says and gives a small grin. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Matt approaching the bar, probably with a list of orders of Jared. "You wanna hang out?" 

"Sure, yeah," Jensen nods and takes another sip of his drink. "I was gonna hit the gym tomorrow, but that's about it." 

"One sec," Jared says, and goes the grab the orders from Matt, scanning the drink requests. He pulls a few bottles from the shelf as he returns to Jensen. "You wanna go together? I've been meaning to find a new gym anyway and maybe I'll like yours."

"Sure, sounds good," Jensen says. 

"Sweet," Jared replies as he starts pouring tequila into a shaker. 

Jensen leaves not too long after, once he's finished his drink, which Jared refuses to let him pay for since he didn't order it. Before he leaves, Jensen suggests meeting up at 11 tomorrow.

"That too early for you?" he asks.

"No, it's perfect," Jared says, smiling at Jensen. "I'm not working too late tonight away."

Jensen smiles and then raps his knuckles against the counter twice. Jared wishes he could lean over and steal a kiss, but he's working and they don't do that kind of stuff at the bar. 

"See you tomorrow, then," Jensen says with a small smile. "Have a good night, Jay."

"You, too," Jared replies.

Jensen has barely left when Jared's phone buzzes in the back pocket of his jeans. He finishes getting the last order ready and then pulls his phone out, skimming the text he got from Jensen with a grin.

_Can't wait to kiss you tomorrow, baby. _

__

Working out with Jensen is both one of the best and worst things Jared has ever experienced. Seeing Jensen all sweaty and flushed, pushing himself as he lifts weights and runs on the stepper is incredibly hot and incredibly frustrating and Jared is going to jerk off to the mental image of Jensen in a sweat soaked shirt for a long, long time, and he also has to try very hard not to get a hard-on in the middle of the gym. But the way Jensen watches him, appreciative and full of want, as Jared works out makes all of it worth it. Especially how impressed Jensen looks when he finds out how much Jared can bench-press. 

And it's also more fun than Jared expected. They're both pretty competitive and Jared pushes himself harder than he does when he works out by himself, and the ribbing and teasing has a flirty tone to it that makes Jared feel all giddy. And Jensen is full of compliments, murmuring, "good, Jay, keep going," and, "you can do ten more, babe," as he spots Jared.

By the time they hit the showers, Jared is winded and a sweaty mess and he feels exhilarated. He can't keep the grin off his face and Jensen bumps their shoulders together. 

"That was good," he says and then he reaches up, curling his hand around Jared's biceps and squeezing softly. "You look like a fucking superhero, baby."

His voice is pitched low, full of intent, and Jared sucks in a breath, flattered and a little flustered even if the line was pretty damn cheesy.

"I like working out." 

"Hmm, lucky me," Jensen drawls, and Jared chuckles and hip-checks Jensen. 

"Stop trying to rile me up while we're at the gym." 

"Fine," Jensen says with a put-on huff and shifts away a little. "I'll rile you up later, though."

Jared licks his lips. "I think seeing you working out already did the job."

Jensen grins. "Well, come on, let's hit the communal showers and make it even worse," he teases, and Jared snorts out a laugh.

They have lunch at a little café down the street from the gym that Jensen raves about and Jensen lets Jared steal half of his food and still insists on paying for the both of them.

"You can pay next time," he says when Jared protests.

"Next time, huh?" Jared asks.

Jensen shrugs. "You liked the gym, right? And working out together was nice." 

"It was," Jared agrees and then nods. "Okay, I'll pay next time."

Jensen smiles and then flags down their waitress.

"So, where to now?" Jared asks when they leave the café. He assumes they'll end up at either of their places and he's more than happy with that, ready to blow off some steam despite the work-out.

"Actually, do you mind if we make a small detour? I had to get a watch fixed and it's ready to be picked up," Jensen says. "It's not too far from here." 

"Sure," Jared says, nodding. "Lead the way."

Jensen shoots him a grateful smile, as if he expected Jared to turn the idea down. As if Jared wouldn't go wherever Jensen wants to—but that's something Jensen doesn't need to know. Because that would basically be admitting Jared is falling for him, hard, and he knows Jensen doesn't feel the way. 

They walk side by side, arms brushing together, chatting as Jensen guides the way.

"Hey," Jared says, nudging Jensen with his elbow and pointing across the street. "That's the tattoo parlor where I got most of my piercings and tattoos." 

"Really?" Jensen asks and he slows down, studying the storefront across the street before looking at Jared. "You ever think about getting more?" 

"I don't know. Maybe," Jared says and shrugs. "I don't wanna get a tattoo just for the sake of getting one. I mean, I'd love a couple more, but I don't want to get another one unless it's something really meaningful, and I'm kinda happy with what I've got so far."

"I sometimes think about getting one," Jensen admits. 

"Yeah?" 

Jensen gives a shrug. "Yeah, always have, but then I never followed through," he says. "I'm not sure it'd suit me." 

"It would. I mean, _I _think it would," Jared says.

Jensen hums, looking thoughtful. "You regret any of yours?" 

"Not really _regret_. It was what I wanted at the time. It's just one of those things, I was young and didn't really put enough thought into it. The lone star on my ankle. It was my first tattoo, but I think it's kinda cheesy," Jared admits. "I don't regret it though."

"I like your tattoos," Jensen says, and reaches for Jared's arm, fingers brushing over skin inches away from the rainbow tattoo. "All of them."

"Yeah?"

Jensen laughs softly. "Yeah. They're really fucking hot," he says, and Jared grins smugly. 

The jeweler is just down the street from the tattoo parlor and Jensen holds the door open, ushering Jared inside. Jared lets him approach the counter by himself, deciding to browse the displays instead while Jensen picks up the watch, because the sales guy behind the counter is giving him one of those looks, the one where someone studies Jared and finds him lacking. Or worries that Jared is going to rob the store, because tattoos and piercings clearly make him a delinquent.

Jared's studying a display of watches when Jensen steps up behind him, putting a hand on the small of his back.

"Everything okay?" Jared asks.

"Hmm, he's just getting the watch from the back," Jensen says and shifts even closer, the side of his body pressing up against Jared as he peers over his shoulder at the display cabinet. "See anything you like?"

Jared shrugs. "Yeah, but these are a little out of my price range," he admits with a small chuckle, and Jensen lets out a small whistle, probably only now seeing the price tags. "They're nice though."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees. "But _damn_."

Jared grins and turns to face Jensen, who slips his arm around his waist so his hand remains on the small of Jared's back. He's looking up at Jared, a small smile on his lips, his eyes roaming over Jared's face, catching on his mouth, and Jared's stomach swoops.

A throat being cleared breaks the spell, and they both turn towards the sound. The guy who was attending to Jensen is back, looking at them with a slightly pinched, disapproving expression. Jared feels Jensen stiffen and he puts a hand on his shoulder, giving him a little nudge. 

"Just get your watch and let's get out of here," he murmurs, and Jensen nods, the movement choppy.

"Homophobic dick," Jensen mutters as they leave the store.

"Hey, for all you know he would have looked at a straight couple who was about to make out in the store the same way," Jared points out and when Jensen gives him a dubious look, Jared shrugs. "It was a pretty fancy place."

"Yeah? And the way he looked at you when we came in?" Jensen asks, sounding pissed. "The guy was a douchebag."

Jared shrugs. "It's the piercings and tattoos. Happens more than you'd think." 

"People are assholes." 

"Yeah," Jared agrees. "But hey, it's not a big deal. Those things stopped bothering me a long time ago."

"How?" Jensen asks, frowning at him. "I don't think I could do that, shrug those things off and not get pissed."

"I'm not a very confrontational person," Jared says. "So, it was either learning to let those things not get to me or bottling it up and letting it hurt me."

Jensen grabs his arms, stopping, and Jared stumbles to a halt as well. He's about to ask what the hell Jensen is doing, when Jensen tugs him around to face him and with his free hand on Jared's neck pulls him down into a kiss. The kiss is soft, but it drags on for a good few seconds, and Jared's stomach flutters with how good it is. How much he likes this, likes Jensen.

"Fuck everyone else," Jensen says when they break apart, and when Jared blinks at him and hums, he pulls Jared right back down into another kiss.

They go back to Jensen's, taking a long route through a nearby park. 

Once they're inside they turn on ESPN and sprawl out on his couch, and then they start having beers a little too early and Jensen eventually gets up and makes steak and baked potatoes for dinner. After, Jared feels full and buzzed, and when Jensen pulls him into the bedroom after cleaning up, Jared feels _almost_ too lazy for anything. He flops down on Jensen's bed, splaying out on it with a content groan.

"You're a lush," Jensen says, and Jared grins in reply.

"'s 'cause I don't drink a lot. I never drink when I work and I never go out because I already spend too much time at a bar," he says and stretches. 

Jensen laughs softly and shakes his head at him. Standing by the side of the bed, he starts undressing, stripping off his shirt and then undoing his jeans. Jared watches, a low hum of arousal coursing through him. He wolf-whistles when Jensen pushes his jeans down along with his underwear and Jensen laughs again.

"Idiot," he says and then gets onto the bed with Jared, nudging Jared's legs apart to kneel between them. He cups Jared's face in one hand and leans down, kissing him briefly. "You planning on staying dressed, sweetheart?"

"Hmm, can't move," Jared says, and Jensen rolls his eyes. But he reaches between them wordlessly, undoing Jared's buckle and then popping the button open. 

"Lift," he says, and Jared lifts his hips obediently and lets Jensen tug his fingers under the waistband of his jeans and boxer-briefs and pull the material down his legs. He wrestles Jared out of his shirt next and Jared is barely any help, laughing when Jensen calls him a lazy bastard under his breath. 

Once Jared is naked, Jensen lowers himself down on top of him, and Jared groans when their dicks align between their bodies. Jensen buries one hand in his hair and pulls him into a kiss, licking into Jared's mouth as he starts grinding down against him and makes the kiss all slow and dirty. 

Jared groans softly when Jensen pulls away, tugging at his bottom lip playfully before pushing himself up on his elbows. "What do you want?" he asks, his voice all gravelly smooth, and Jared feels a little dizzy with how turned-on he already is. "Since you're _too lazy_ to participate tonight, tell me what you want me to do."

Jared's heart thuds heavily in his chest and he looks up at Jensen, feeling his face flush pink. 

"Anything," Jensen tags on, and Jared squirms a little.

It's probably the liquid courage that finally makes him open his mouth, because he's rarely asked anyone for this. "Eat me out," he mumbles and feels his cheeks grow hotter. "Please?"

Jensen grins and then he pulls away, shifting up onto his knees. He pats Jared's hip. "Roll over, baby," he says, and Jared scampers to comply, pulling one leg up around Jensen's other side as he flips onto his stomach. He splays his legs, making room for Jensen to settle between them again, and lifts his hips when Jensen grabs a pillow from next to Jared's face, letting him stuff it underneath him. 

Jensen leans over him, kisses the top of his spine, his mouth hot, and then slowly trails his lips down Jared's back. When he reaches the base, Jared gasps and buries his face in the pillow. He knows he turns into a loud, needy mess when someone does this to him, but Jensen hasn't even started yet and Jared already feels like he's falling apart.

"Relax," Jensen murmurs, his hands framing Jared's hips and giving him a squeeze. "Breathe, sweetheart."

Jared nods, turns his head to take a few breaths, and as some tension drains from him he realizes how tense he's been, muscles locked up tight with anticipation.

"Good," Jensen praises softly, and presses another kiss to the same spot as before. Then his tongue comes out, wet and hot, slipping just between the top of Jared's cheeks, and Jared groans and wiggles his hips restlessly. It earns him a small nip, and he knows it means_ hold still_, so he tries to settle down again. Jensen hums in approval and then he spreads Jared's cheeks apart with his hands. Cool air hits Jared, making him clench for a second, and then slick heat follows as Jensen licks over his hole.

"Fuck," Jared moans and he tries to move his hips, push back against Jensen, but Jensen has him pinned, holding him down as he pushes his face deeper between Jared's cheeks, letting his tongue play over Jared's entrance. It's little sparks of pleasure, shooting right up Jared's spine, and almost each lick has him gasping and moaning. Slowly, Jensen increases the pressure, until he's teasing the tip of his tongue barely inside of Jared. 

"Please," Jared mumbles. "Jensen, please." 

Jensen hums, the vibrations making Jared groan, and then Jensen presses in deeper. Jared feels spit trickle down his crack, and he feels heady, drunk from both the beers and the dirty, hot pleasure of Jensen's tongue in his ass, slowly licking him out until Jared is writhing under him, lost in the feeling of what Jensen is doing to him. 

He is damn good at it, nipping and sucking and playing with him, working his tongue into him over and over until Jared is sloppy and loose, pleasure coiling tight in his belly. Jensen takes his time, draws it out like he's enjoying this as well, and maybe it's because Jared is a little drunk, but everything else fades until he can't tell if it's been a few minutes or hours, nothing mattering anymore but how fucking amazing Jensen's mouth feels.

He feels the tug of his orgasm, starting low in his spine and then spreading out, and when Jensen thrusts his tongue into him the next time Jared comes with a cry that he muffles into the pillows. 

He's still shaking, making small, wet noises as he sucks in air, when Jensen pulls away, and Jared hears the unmistakable sound of skin on skin as he jerks himself off. He wants to offer to help, but he feels boneless and useless, his head fuzzy, and before he can form a full sentence in his head, Jensen groans and Jared feels the hot, sticky splatter of come against his lower back. 

Jensen collapses on top of him, apparently not caring about the mess between them, his breathing harsh as he worms an arm under Jared's belly and kisses the hinge of Jared's jaw, then bites at it softly. "We're so fucking doing that again," he says, and Jared can only grunt in agreement. If that's what Jensen wants, Jared will happily let him eat him out every damn day.

Gen sits down at the bar, propping her chin up on her hand. They still have ten minutes until they open and Jared has just finished restocking the fridge. "How was your day off?" she asks.

"Good," Jared says.

"Yeah? Lucky you, we had, like, every shitty customer possible here last night," Gen says with a small groan. "What did you do? Did you see Jensen?" 

"We don't see each other every day," Jared grouses, and when Genevieve arches her eyebrows and gives him one of her _don't bullshit me_ looks, he flushes. "Yeah, I saw him. Pretty much spent the day together." 

"And the night?" Gen teases.

"And the night," Jared confirms, his cheeks growing a little hot. He doesn't usually get flustered this easy, but it's _Jensen_. 

"You're head over heels for him," Genevieve notes, her tone matter of fact. 

"I'm—" Jared starts, but stops before _not_ can pass over his lips. Genevieve is good at telling when someone is lying and Jared isn't trying to fool himself either. So he settles for a shrug. "Yeah, maybe." 

Genevieve sighs. "Why can't relationships ever be easy, huh?"

Jared frowns at her and grabs them each a coke from the fridge, sliding Gen's over to her. "What did Ryan do now?"

"We went to my sister's wedding last weekend and he got drunk and then started hitting on my cousin," Genevieve says with a huff. "So now we're not talking." 

"Well, good. Maybe this time you should keep not talking to him," Jared says. He's lost count of how many times he's had to listen to Genevieve ranting about her boyfriend and how many times they broke up, or almost broke up, just to make up a week or two later. 

"I _know_ I should. But it's not that easy," Genevieve says. "Would you just let Jensen go if he messed up?"

"A, we're not together. And b, Jensen isn't a dick. We might be casual, but he treats me better than any guy I've dated has before," Jared says patiently. "Ryan doesn't treat you well, Gen."

Genevieve groans. "Why can't you be straight?" she asks. "I could date you then." 

"Because I like dick," Jared deadpans, and jumps a little when there's a cough behind him. He turns around, a hand on his chest. "Jesus, Jeff." 

Jeff gives him an amused grin. "Time to open up," he says cheerfully. "And for you to stop declaring your endless love for dick." 

"You're the one who helped me realize it's okay to love dick and now you complain about it," Jared says mockingly, and Genevieve laughs as she slides off the barstool and heads for the door. When he first started working at the bar a few years ago, still in college and still painfully deep in the closet, Jeff and he hooked up a few times, but things had fizzled out quickly. Jeff's one of the few guys he has absolutely no regrets over—he was the first person he could really talk to about his sexuality, who assured him there was nothing wrong with who he was, who made him feel not so alone anymore and Jared learned a lot from him, inside and outside of the bedroom.

"Sometimes I get no respect around here," Jeff says with a small head shake.

Jared snorts. "Yeah, right," he says. "Alright, boss. I'll be a good little worker bee and do my job now." 

Jeff looks at him and then laughs.

"What?" 

"Nothing," Jeff says. "Just picturing you dressed up as a bee. You'd look _adorable." _

"Damn straight," Jared says with a grin. "I'd _bee_ cute as fuck." 

Jeff groans.

"Buzz off," Jared says happily.

"I'm docking your pay," Jeff grumbles.

Jared feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He finishes mixing the order of cocktails for a table of five girls before he takes a second to check his messages. There's a text from Jensen, which simply reads, _Working tonight?_

__

Jared texts back a quick yes. He's taking care of the next order when he feels his phone go off again. 

_Can you take a break?_

__

The question puzzles Jared a little, leaving him feeling a little worried. He texts Jensen that he can and then checks the door nervously repeatedly, waiting for Jensen to show up. 

When he does, fifteen minutes later, he's smiling as he walks up to the bar. 

"I'm taking ten," Jared says to Tom, waiting for him to nod before he waves Jensen to the side of the bar where the door leading to the back is. 

"What's going on?" he asks once the door has fallen shut behind them and then he finds himself being pushed up against it and Jensen crowds against him, dragging him down into a kiss. Jared can feel his grin against his lips, and despite his curiosity, he lets Jensen kiss him, parting his mouth under Jensen's and groaning when Jensen slides their tongues together. He winds his arms around Jensen's hips and gets lost in the kiss for a few moments. 

Jensen's lips are red and puffy when they break apart and his cheeks flushed even in the dim light of the corridor. 

"Not that I'm complaining," Jared starts, licking his lips and flexing his hands around Jensen's hips. "But what's going on?"

Jensen's still grinning and he leans in, nudging his nose against Jared's and stealing another kiss and then a second, slow and sweet. "Guess what?" he murmurs.

"What?" Jared asks, amused by Jensen's odd behavior.

Jensen tips his head back, looking so happy that Jared can't help but smile as well. "I'm gonna make partner," he says, looking so proud it makes Jared's heart swell a little.

"Jensen," he murmurs. "Fuck, that's amazing, baby. You worked so hard for this." 

Jensen looks even more pleased then, practically beaming. "It's not official yet, but it's pretty much a done deal," he says. 

"Come here," Jared coaxes and pulls Jensen in for another kiss. It drags out, their lips sliding together, until a loud thud makes them pull apart. Jared peers down the empty hallway.

"Probably Jeff," he says. "He's in his office."

"Hmm, well, I don't wanna get you in trouble," Jensen says. "Maybe we can pick this up some other time, you know, to celebrate? I'll spring for dinner first." 

"Yeah?" 

"If you wanna," Jensen offers.

Jared nods. "Sounds good," he says. "I'm not working on Friday."

It's a lie. But he covered a shift for Tom the other week, so Tom owes him one and if he can't make Friday, Jared is going to beg Jeff to get the night off. 

"Friday sounds perfect," Jensen says and then leans in, kissing the corner of Jared's mouth. "Thank you, baby." 

"What for?"

Jensen gives a little shrug. "Being happy for me," he says, and Jared remembers what Jensen told him about his ex then. 

"Of course I am," he says, like it's not a big deal, and gives Jensen a small grin and arches an eyebrow. "I probably still got a few minutes of my break left. One more kiss?"

"Just one," Jensen agrees in a murmur, already leaning back in. 

Jared ends up being a good five minutes late, but it's worth it, even when Tom ends up teasing him about it for the rest of the shift.

Jared is a little nervous about dinner. Okay, so he's actually a lot nervous. He doesn't know where Jensen is taking him, but he doubts it'll be some dive bar, so he tries to dress nice. The only suit he owns is several years old and doesn't really fit him anymore, so he opts for his nicest pair of jeans and a dark blue button-down and hopes that's good enough for whatever Jensen has in mind. For a split second, he even considers taking his piercings out, and then feels a wave of shame for even thinking about it. It took him years to be fully comfortable in his skin and he doesn't want to have to change himself for someone else, as much as he wants tonight to be good. And he knows Jensen doesn't care. Hell, Jensen likes his tattoos and piercings. 

He's still nervous when Jensen picks him up and sees his outfit. "I can change if it's not fancy enough," Jared offers as he gets into Jensen's car, even though squeezing into the suit jacket that is definitely not wide enough around the shoulders anymore would probably just make him look worse.

"You look great," Jensen says. "Hell, if anything you look a little too good. How am I supposed to concentrate on having dinner?"

He gives Jared a reassuring smile as he talks, like he can tell Jared is nervous, and it calms Jared right down. "I'll try to be less distracting," he offers with a cute smile.

The restaurant Jensen picked is nice, but not fancy enough that Jared feels underdressed and the atmosphere is pretty relaxed. Their waiter checks Jensen out way too blatantly for Jared's liking, and Jensen must feel the same way, because when the guy takes their drink orders, Jensen smiles at Jared and asks, "Wanna split a bottle of wine, baby?" putting clear emphasis on the pet name. 

Jared grins at him. "Sure," he says. 

"And maybe a glass of champagne to start off with. Since we're celebrating," Jensen adds, and Jared has to bite his lower lip to keep from laughing at the sour look on their waiter's face. 

They end up sharing a plate of appetizers and Jared raises his glass of champagne before they dig in. "To you being the most kickass, successful lawyer in the city," he says, and Jensen laughs, his cheeks going a little pink.

"I really don't think I am," he says.

"Well, do you have proof for that?" Jared teases. "Because until I see the evidence, I'll believe that's what you are." 

Jensen rolls his eyes, grinning and looking pleased, and lightly clinks his glass against Jared's. 

They work their way through the starters and afterwards Jared has ravioli with a white wine cream sauce for the main dish and ends up stealing more than one bite of Jensen's salmon. The dessert, though, is even better than everything else they had and Jared demolishes his slice of chocolate tart in record speed and then finishes off the last few bites of Jensen's raspberry sorbet, not caring that it's mostly melted by then, while Jensen drinks his espresso. 

"I don't know where you put it all," Jensen says, amused, and Jared pats his stomach.

"Good genes," he says and then grins, lowering his voice as he adds, "And I figured you'd help me work it off later."

"Duh. I'm paying for dinner, so you better put out," Jensen counters, knocking their ankles together under the table. A little later, when they head out and get into the car, he still turns to Jared and asks, "You wanna come back to mine?"

Jared almost rolls his eyes. "Of course I do," he replies.

"Fuck, Jared, so good," Jensen groans. He undulates his hips in small, shallow thrusts, fucking into Jared's mouth, and his fingers, which are tangled in Jared's hair, tighten their grip for a moment. 

Jared blinks wetly, his lungs burning, and hums around Jensen. His own cock is rock hard, but he fights off the urge to touch himself and focuses on Jensen instead, lifting his head when Jensen's grip loosens and sucking around the head the way he knows Jensen likes.

"Jay, fuck. Baby, wait," Jensen babbles and then his hands are on Jared's shoulders, tugging him off him and up. 

"Wanna fuck you," he mumbles before pulling Jared into a kiss, and Jared makes a small noise of agreement against Jensen's mouth. Jensen shifts them over onto their sides and breaks the kiss after a few moments, resting their foreheads together.

"You okay?" Jared murmurs, his voice a little raspy, cupping Jensen's cheek and stroking his thumb over the warm, stubbled skin.

"Just give me a moment to calm down a little," Jensen says, and Jared laughs. He nuzzles Jensen, presses a chaste kiss to Jensen's mouth, and then lets Jensen roll him over onto his back. 

Jensen reaches for the nightstand, pulling the drawer open and getting the supplies. The lube gets dropped onto the mattress by Jared's hip and Jensen looks down at him with a slightly thoughtful expression. He holds the condom up for a second then taps it against Jared's belly. 

"Have you ever done it without?" he asks, and Jared's throat goes dry. He doubts Jensen is suddenly trying to make conversation in the middle of sex or just casually asking. Using a condom has always been a given with them.

He shakes his head.

"You?" he asks, his voice quiet.

"Yeah, with my first boyfriend, back in college," Jensen asks and cracks a small smile. "We just did it a handful of times. And we didn't really know what we were doing to begin with."

Jared returns his smile, rolling the side of his bottom lip between his teeth. "You wanna?"

"Yeah?" Jensen says and it comes out sounding like a question. "I mean, it doesn't have to be right now, obviously." 

Jared nods. "I'm clean," he offers. "I get tested regularly. Have for years." 

"Yeah?" Jensen replies. "Me too. I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't sure I was. After the thing with my dad, I pretty much got myself tested and checked out for anything that could possibly be wrong with a person."

Jared shifts a little, curling his hand loosely around Jensen's wrist. "I didn't know," he murmurs.

"Just wanted to make sure, you know?" Jensen says with a wry smile. "STDs weren't something I was worried about, but I got checked anyway while I was at it. And I haven't been with anyone but you since. Or even in the weeks before that." 

Jared shouldn't be surprised by this. Jensen works a lot and they spend so much time together whenever he doesn't, Jensen wouldn't really have time to meet other guys anyway. But hearing that still feels pretty amazing. It doesn't really change anything about their relationship, but he likes knowing that, at least for now, he's the only guy in Jensen's life.

"Me neither," he says. "Not since way before I last got tested."

"So?" Jensen asks, and Jared grins and tugs the condom out of Jensen's hand, flicking it down onto the mattress carelessly.

"Yeah," he says, and he barely gets the word out before Jensen kisses him. 

The kissing starts out slow, but it turns deep and dirty fast. This part shouldn't feel any different than any other time together, the kissing and touching, the foreplay and the prep, but it does, and by the time Jensen finishes working him open, Jared feels so strung out he thinks he could come just from Jensen's fingers thrusting into him. 

"Jensen, come on," he says around a moan. "'M good. Fuck me."

"Yeah, fuck. Okay," Jensen says, and Jared is glad he sounds as affected as he does. He's pretty sure he hasn't felt this eager and impatient since he first started having sex, but this is new. This is _special_. A level of intimacy that Jared has never craved with anyone else and it should be weird that he wants it with Jensen of all people, who isn't even his boyfriend, yet it makes perfect sense. 

"Come on," Jared says again, softer, and Jensen gives him a smile. 

He lubes himself up and then hoists Jared's right leg up onto his shoulder and Jared wraps the other around his waist. Positioning himself, Jensen slowly pushes forward. Jared holds his breath when he feels the building pressure against his entrance before the head of Jensen's clock slides in. They gasp almost at the same time, and Jared stares at Jensen's face, transfixed by the emotions showing there. Jensen sinks into him slowly, until his hips press flush against Jared's ass. The feeling of fullness and the slight burn of the initial penetration are familiar, but there's something else. And maybe it's just in Jared's head, but he doesn't think it's ever felt this intense, this good.

"God," Jensen says, his voice all raspy and tight, and when he shifts a small moan falls from Jared's mouth. Jensen seems to take that as all the encouragement he needs and he rolls his hips, drawing out a little and then sliding back in, and Jared makes a louder noise this time. 

Jensen thrusts again, a little faster and smoother, rubbing against his prostate perfectly, hot and big inside of Jared. "Fuck, baby."

"Good?" Jared asks needlessly, as if it doesn't show on Jensen's face, his eyes big and dark, his mouth slack as he rocks into Jared. 

Jensen drives into him a little faster, grunting softly. "Fucking amazing," he replies and then leans down, kissing Jared sloppily before he draws back. 

He grabs Jared by the back of the knee and starts fucking him a little harder, and each thrust sends sparks of pleasure up Jared's spine. Jensen is big, his rhythm smooth and steady, and Jared feels full, split open on Jensen's cock, and they've done this so many times but it never fails to make his head spin how fucking amazing this is with Jensen. His dick is almost painfully hard and it doesn't take long before he's sweaty and breathless, arching into Jensen helplessly. He knows if he touched himself, it'd all be over in seconds, but he wants to draw this out, wants to come just like this, just from Jensen's cock inside of him. 

He tightens his leg around Jensen's waist, as if he could pull him in deeper, and Jensen slows down a little, rutting into Jared without pulling out as far, keeping a constant pressure against Jared's prostate now and Jared gasps and moans. Each roll of Jensen's hips has him seeing stars, the angle as he rocks in perfect, and he swears Jensen feels hotter, better than he ever has before. 

"Jay. Baby," Jensen pants and Jared knows he's close, and the thought of Jensen coming inside of him makes his head spin a little. He purposefully contracts his muscles around Jensen, who groans lowly. 

"Come on," Jared pleads breathlessly. "Let go, Jen. Come for me, baby." 

"Fuck," Jensen cries out and he thrusts in a few more times before his hips stutter and he moans. Jared feels him come, sticky heat spreading inside of him, and that's what pushes him over the edge as well, gasping out Jensen's name as he spills all over his stomach and chest with a shudder.

They end up lying in a tangle of limbs, content and sated and sticky. Eventually, they move into a more comfortable position, with Jensen on his back and Jared sprawled out over his chest, one leg between Jensen's, with Jensen's arms around him. Jensen is patting him absently, running a hand slowly up and down his arm, and Jared sighs. 

"You good?" Jensen asks, his voice a little hoarse. Jared turns his head, brushes his mouth over Jensen's chest and hums affirmatively. He shifts a little and the movement makes him acutely aware of the mess between his cheeks and he feels himself flush.

"What?" Jensen asks, and Jared realizes he must have made a noise.

"'m a mess," he mumbles, not adding that he doesn't mind one bit. He likes it, likes that he's all fucked out and sloppy and there's a part of Jensen still inside of him. 

Jensen's hand on his hand stops moving and then he trails his other hand slowly down Jared's back. He stops as the swell of Jared's ass, fingers brushing against the crack hesitatingly as if he's waiting for Jared's permission. Jared splays his legs a little wider silently, wedging his thigh deeper between Jensen's. 

Jensen squeezes his arm and then slides two fingers between Jared's cheeks. Jared sighs softly, the sound turning into a moan when Jensen's fingers trail over his hole. There's a low hum of want curling in the pit of his stomach. It's not enough to get him going again, but it feels good, having Jensen's fingers exploring, playing with him. 

For a while, they just stay like this, tension slowly building between them. Eventually, Jared lifts his head, shifts a little so their mouths can meet in a kiss. They make out languidly, touching and petting; it's drawn out, lacking the desperation of the first time. Instead Jared lets himself enjoy the feeling of Jensen's hands and mouth on him, takes as much pleasure in the foreplay as in the actual sex that follows, enjoying the quiet, slow build-up. 

Jared briefly regrets not getting cleaned up and taking a shower the night before when he wakes up the next morning, dried come on his belly and chest as well as between his thighs. But he can't _really_ regret falling asleep like that, curled up with Jensen, feeling debauched and sated in a way he probably never has before. 

And then Jensen follows him into the shower when Jared finally drags himself out of bed and gives him a little grin. "I got you dirty, so I gotta help you clean up, too," he says, and Jared laughs and hands him the shower gel.

They get distracted, of course. Jensen's chest to Jared's back, Jensen jerks Jared off slowly while he plays with Jared's nipple piercings with his free hand and grinds his erection against Jared. Jared comes with a sound that sounds too damn close to a whimper and before Jensen can tease him for it, he twists around in his arms, kisses Jensen and then sinks down onto his knees.

Sipping his steaming hot, sweet coffee, Jared sits at the kitchen island and watches Jensen make scrambled eggs and bacon. Jared's usual breakfast is cereal or fruit with yogurt because he can't cook for shit, and he feels pretty damn pampered right now. After their little tryst in the shower, Jensen helped him clean up again and even washed his hair and after getting dressed he made Jared sit down at the island and wouldn't even let him make the coffee.

Jensen finishes making their breakfast, piling two plates with food. He puts them down on the counter, his across from Jared, and Jared can't help smiling. If last night felt intimate, this feels domesticated. Jared allows himself to be lulled in by it, enjoying this time with Jensen, even though there's a voice inside of him telling himself not to forget where they're at. 

"So," Jensen starts when they're both about halfway through their breakfast and gives Jared a small smile, "Last night."

Jared clears his throat, biting down on his bottom lip where his piercing is. "Hmm. Yeah," he says. 

"It was pretty great. I mean, _fuck, _it was a lot more than just great_._" 

Jared snorts. "Yeah, I'd say."

"Just so we're on the same page here—do you wanna go back to using condoms or keep going bare? I know last night was kind of a spur of the moment thing," Jensen asks.

Jared takes a sip of his coffee. It's a big decision and unlike last night, when Jared had wanted Jensen so bad that the choice had seemed easy to make, he takes a moment to think about it and then picks his words carefully. "Look, last night was amazing," he starts, "but if we keep doing this, we'd both have to agree to not see other people. That's non-negotiable."

Jensen looks a little surprised by the answer, but he nods. "Yeah, of course, Jay. That wouldn't be an issue," he says, and there's not even a moment of hesitance. "I told you there hasn't been anyone else. And regardless of whether we use condoms or not, that's not gonna change. I have absolutely no desire to see other guys." 

Jared nods, not really sure how to respond. He hadn't really expected that answer. They never talked about this, but Jared never expected their arrangement to include being exclusive. He knows Jensen isn't into fucking around and having flings, but he figured that, eventually, Jensen would want to date again. And at least currently, that doesn't even seem to be an option for Jensen and Jared feels a bit of hope flare up inside of him that he tries to squash down. Jensen being happy with the way things are right now doesn't have to mean anything more than that—and it _is_ a good arrangement. Despite his feelings for Jensen, Jared is good with it too, has never felt this comfortable and content with another guy.

"Okay," he says. 

"Okay?" Jensen echoes with a snort. "That's it?"

Jared grins and reaches across the island, stealing a piece of bacon from Jensen's plate, his own already gone. Jensen tries to slap his hand away, but Jared is too quick and they both end up laughing, grinning at each other across the island.

"Okay," Jensen echoes again and nods.

Jared is wiping down the counter when Jeff slips out from behind the bar with two tumblers in his hands. He puts them down on the countertop and when Jared raises his eyebrows, he pats the empty stool next to him. Jared sighs and drops the rag in the sink and goes to join Jeff. 

They just closed down a couple of minutes ago and it's just him and Jeff left, the lights on but dim and low music playing in the background. Jared settles down and curls his fingers around the glass in front of him, but doesn't pick it up to drink yet.

"What's up?" he asks. "Are you firing me?"

Jeff snorts and Jared grins. Instead of answering right away, Jeff takes a sip of his whiskey and then clears his throat. "You've been kinda quiet today."

Jared sighs and runs a hand over his face. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize. Your version of quiet is still more talkative then I am on a good day," Jeff says with a grin. "What's up?"

"Just… distracted," Jared admits. 

"Jensen?" Jeff guesses.

Jared huffs. "That obvious?" 

"I just know you," Jeff says. "So what's up? You two get into a fight?" 

"No. No, the opposite, actually," Jared says and finally brings the tumbler up to his lips, taking a small sip. "We've decided not to see other people. Which we weren't doing anyway, but yeah." 

"Okay," Jeff says, looking puzzled. "Shouldn't you be excited about that? You're nuts about the guy." 

Jared grimaces. Maybe he should be, maybe someone else would be content with what he has now, but it's as confusing and maddening as it's wonderful. Jared is pretty sure he wouldn't give Jensen up for anything in the world, will take whatever he can get, but he still wishes for more. 

"It was less a 'we're madly in love, let's be exclusive' kinda thing and more 'let's not use condoms anymore'," he admits.

"Jared," Jeff admonishes, and Jared looks at him and rolls his eyes.

"You don't need to lecture me about safety and all that," he says. "We're both clean. We've both been tested. I'm not an idiot, Jeff." 

"Alright, alright," Jeff says, holding up a hand. "Don't get huffy with me, kiddo."

Jared slumps a little.

"So. No more condoms and no more other guys," Jeff says. "Not gonna lie, Jared, that kinda sounds more than casual to me." 

"He's told me several times he doesn't want a relationship," Jared reminds Jeff. "It's just… confusing, I guess. It feels like more, but I know it's not. He just makes it so hard for the lines not to get blurred sometimes." 

"Jared, maybe you need to take a step back if you really think he doesn't want more. Or at least talk to him," Jeff advises. 

Jared shrugs. "I'm not _unhappy_. I'd rather have this than have less." 

"And when it's over?"

"I know, okay? I know I'll get hurt," Jared says. "But it's so good right now. And I just want to enjoy this for now." 

Jeff sighs and nods. "Sounds like you've got your mind made up," he says and downs the rest of his drink. He gets up and hooks his arm around Jared's neck, kissing the top of his head. "I think you're an idiot, but I know you're stubborn, so I'll have to accept that." 

"Thanks," Jared says sarcastically.

"Welcome. But for the record, I'm pretty sure he cares more about you than you think," Jeff says and Jared just shakes his head.

Jensen and Danneel are sitting at a small table in the back of the bar and Jared can't help sneaking glances at them between mixing drinks and serving the people sitting at the bar. More than once, he finds Jensen looking back at him and they share a few smiles. Jared notices the moment the mood shifts though, Jensen looking tense and Danneel a little concerned, the easy chatter between them looking distinctly less happy. 

When he has a moment, he takes his phone out and shoots Jensen a text, asking him if everything is okay. He watches Jensen read the text and then look at him, giving him a quick nod. 

He's mixing a batch of margaritas when he sees Jensen head to the bathroom, and on his way back a couple of minutes later he makes a detour to the bar. Tom grins and nods at Jared, a silent 'I've got you covered', and Jared wipes his hands on a towel as he heads for the end of the bar.

"Hey," he says. 

Jensen gives him a smile, but it looks a little tight. 

"What's up?" Jared asks, unease settling in his stomach. 

Jensen leans forward, sighing a little. "Nothing," he says. "My ex is here."

Jared presses his lips together. "Where?"

"Third booth from the door," Jensen says and Jared tries to subtly glance at the table. It's a bunch of guys in suits, all of them drinking beer. 

He looks back at Jensen. "Are you and Danneel heading out then?" he asks, and Jensen draws his eyebrows together.

"Fuck no. I let him chase me out of one bar, but it's not happening again," he jokes and finally his smile looks a little easier, the familiar lines around his eyes appearing. "It's not a big deal. I mean, I'd prefer not to have to see him again and especially not here when I'm trying to have a good time, but it is what it is." 

"Okay," Jared acquiesces. "You guys want another round of drinks then?" 

"Yes, please. Another martini for Danni," Jensen says, and Jared quirks an eyebrow at him.

"And for you?"

"Surprise me," Jensen says, and the flirty smile sends a rush of warmth through Jared.

He nods and then, after a quick glance around to make sure nobody is really paying them any attention, he leans over and kisses Jensen quickly, caring more about offering Jensen a quick moment of support and affection than the fact that he's breaking one of his self-imposed rules about his behavior at his workplace.

"Thanks, baby," Jensen murmurs.

"So, which one was it?" Jared asks later. Jensen is sitting at the bar, drinking water while he waits for Jared to finish his shift. Danneel left about thirty minutes ago, and the table with Jensen's ex cleared out long before that. The bar is less busy now, half of the stools at the bar empty and a few tables unoccupied as well.

Jensen twists the glass around on the coaster once. "He was sitting by the window. Blond, short hair."

Jared knows which one he's talking about, because he definitely took a few glances at the group, his curiosity getting the best of him. He nods and wipes the rag over the already spotless counter next to Jensen, the image of Jensen's ex clear in his head. He wonders if that's Jensen's usual type and his stomach twists a little because Jared looks nothing like the guy.

Gen comes towards the bar just then with a tray full of empty glasses, and Jared is glad for the distraction.

His shift ends half an hour later, and once outside Jensen bumps their shoulders together as they head down the sidewalk. "It was never really going to work, me and Justin," he says conversationally.

"Huh?" Jared asks.

Jensen wrinkles his nose, smiling. He's definitely a little drunk. "Just something I've realized since we broke up. I mean, he hit on me for weeks before I even agreed to go out with him, because I wasn't really sure about him. But then we started going out and the relationship just kinda… happened, I guess," Jensen says. "But looking back we never _really_ fit together. We were okay, but we weren't great together. Ultimately we weren't what either of us was looking for in a partner, I think." 

"And what's that?" Jared asks and finally slides his arm around Jensen's shoulders when Jensen stumbles a little. Jensen huffs out a laugh. 

"Sorry. You make damn strong drinks, Padalecki." 

"Unlike some other bars, we don't charge people an arm and a leg just to serve them juice," Jared replies and Jensen chuckles. 

"I wasn't complaining."

"So," Jared prods. "What was it you both wanted in a partner?" 

"Him? Someone to lavish him with attention and be at his beck and call. And that's cool, but that's not me," Jensen says. 

"And you?" Jared asks, because he doesn't really care what _Justin_ wants.

"You know, the whole best friend and partner in one thing," Jensen says with a small shrug. 

"That sounds nice," Jared says, and Jensen sighs, and it sounds content. 

"Yeah," he says and then tips his head back and grins. "And really good sex." 

"Well, that's a given," Jared mocks. 

Jensen laughs and then squirms, reaching for his back pocket and pulling his phone out. "Christ."

"What?" Jared asks.

"My phone's been blowing up," Jensen says. "Just a couple of my friends." 

"Is something going on?" 

Jensen quirks an eyebrow at him. "You kissed me in front of my ex," he says. "I guess he wasn't happy about it and he complained to our friends about it." 

"How mature," Jared mocks. "And what's their problem? It's been a few months since you broke up." 

"Yeah, I'm really not sure," Jensen says and does something on his phone. Jared tugs him to the left before he gets a little too close to a street light. "Nor do I care. So, phone's on mute now."

"You need new friends," Jared says.

"Nah, I've got you and Danni," Jensen replies and grins. "I'm all good."

"We're having a barbecue at my place on Monday," Jeff says, shuffling past Jared with a keg. "Everyone's bringing something."

"Alright," Jared says, amused. "What am I bringing?" 

"Steak and patties," Jeff says calls out over his shoulder. "You and Jensen." 

"Jensen?" Jared echoes and follows Jeff out of the storage room, forgetting about the bottles of liquor he was going to get to stock up. 

"I invited him," Jeff says. 

Jared leans against the sink, crossing his arms over his chest as Jeff kneels to set the new keg up. "You invited Jensen? When?"

"I texted him earlier," Jeff says and glances up. "What? You mind?" 

"Of course not," Jared says with a scoff. "Since when do you have his number?"

Jeff shrugs. "A few weeks ago? He's always hanging around. We talk sometimes." 

"I know, but…" Jared starts, but he doesn't really know what to say without sounding like a jealous idiot, just because he didn't know Jeff and Jensen talked. "Doesn't he have to work on Monday?"

Jeff finishes attaching the coupler to the keg. "Yeah, but he's gonna leave early. Said he has too many vacation days and overtime piling up anyway," he says and gets up, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Seriously, Jay, I didn't think it was a big deal." 

"It's not. Of course it's not," Jared says. "So, Jensen and I are bringing meat?" 

"Yeah," Jeff says and smirks and taps Jared's jaw with his hand. "Wipe that scowl off your face, kiddo. He's still all yours."

"I wasn't worried," Jared counters, and Jeff raises his eyebrows. 

"Good, 'cause I'm pretty sure he said yes because he wants to get to know your friends better." 

"Why would he?" 

Jeff rolls his eyes. "So pretty, yet so dense," he singsongs, and Jared pushes him away playfully.

Jensen insists he'll buy the steaks and patties and refuses to let Jared pay for half of them, so Jared, who doesn't want to show up empty handed, buys a couple of six packs, figuring they can never have enough drinks. 

"You're not empty handed," Jensen says on the drive to Jeff's. "We're both bringing the meat." 

"You bought it," Jared says and he knows he sounds pissy. He knows he's overreacting, but he's feeling oddly nervous about the afternoon. It feels like he's bringing a boyfriend home, except Jensen isn't his boyfriend and it's just a barbecue with friends.

"You can work it off later if that makes you feel better," Jensen suggests with a lewd grin. 

"Great. Now I'm a prostitute," Jared huffs, and Jensen laughs, pulling up into Jeff's driveway.

When Jeff opens the door for them Jensen hands over the meat. "From Jay and me," he says, shooting Jared a pointed look.

"Am I missing something?" Jeff asks, and Jared rolls his eyes.

"No," he says. "I brought beer." 

"He's sulking," Jensen whispers loudly, and Jeff laughs. 

"Isn't he always?"

"I'm right here," Jared says loudly and heads for the kitchen to put the beer away. 

"Geez, I hadn't noticed," Jeff calls out. "Come on, everyone is outside and getting hungry."

Jared takes a little more time than necessary, cramming as many of the beers as possible into the already pretty stocked fridge, trying to shake his funk. He grabs a cold one for himself and opens it and then grabs another for Jensen as well before heading out.

Jensen is chatting to Gen and Tom and two of Jeff's neighbors, and Jared joins them and hands Jensen the beer silently. 

"Thanks," Jensen says with a smile. 

When there's a lull in the conversation a few minutes later, Jensen curls his hand around Jared's wrist and tugs him away a little. Rubbing his thumb over the inside of Jared's wrist, he leans in and murmurs, "Are we fighting?"

Jared exhales at the genuine concern in Jensen's voice. "Of course not," he says. "Sorry. I'm just in a weird mood."

Jensen frowns at him. "Are you okay? You wanna go somewhere more quiet and talk?"

"I'm good," Jared says with a shake of his head, because this isn't something he can talk to 

Jensen about and he wouldn't know how to explain why he's feeling so anxious about this afternoon anyway. "Come on, we're here to have a good time, right?" 

Jensen smiles and nods, then leans up and kisses Jared chastely. "Let's get you fed. Maybe that'll help," he suggests and slips his hand from around Jared's wrist down into Jared's hand, giving it a squeeze, before pulling him along to where Jeff is manning the barbecue.

"You're an idiot."

Jared looks up from loading the last plate into the dishwasher and frowns at Jeff. "Gee, thanks," he snarks. "What did I do?"

He reaches for the empty salad bowl, but Jeff takes it right out of his hands and places it back down next to the sink. "Jared, you really think Jensen _isn't _in love with you?" Jeff asks. "Only you would manage to be in a relationship and not realize it." 

"We're not," Jared says firmly and turns towards Jeff. "What are you even talking about?" 

"You're really not seeing it, are you?" Jeff asks, sounding both amused and exasperated. "The way you two act. All the touching and kissing and flirting." 

"So?" 

"So. He got up and got you food twice. He got you a new drink whenever you finished yours. He looks at you like you hung the moon, Jay." 

Jared draws in a breath and his chest feels too tight, aching. "Don't do that, Jeff." 

"Do what?" Jeff asks, his voice quiet and his brows drawn together.

"Get my hopes up," Jared says and he feels miserable suddenly, like he could burst into tears any moment. "You know my track record with guys. Those things never really work out for me."

"Jared, what's up with you today?" Jeff asks and steps closer. "You're never like this." 

"Like what?" 

"Like that insecure, unhappy kid I met all those years ago," Jeff says, and Jared blinks, his eyes watery suddenly. 

"Hey. Jesus," Jeff murmurs and draws him into a hug. Jared hides his face in his neck, sucking in a shuddering breath and sniffs. He feels off, like everything suddenly tilted sideways and spun out of control.

"I'm a mess today," he admits.

"It's okay. Hey, it's okay, Jay," Jeff soothes and rubs his back.

"Is everything okay here?" Jensen's voice makes Jared draw back, his eyes wet and burning.

"Jared?" Jensen asks, clearly concerned. 

Jared sniffs again, the sound wet and pained. "I'm okay. I'm sorry," he says, not even sure what he's apologizing for. "I think I just wanna go home." 

"I'll take you," Jensen says, stepping closer and putting a hand on Jared's arm. 

Jeff's hand is still on Jared's back and he strokes it up and down a few more times. "I'll let everyone know you guys left," he says. 

Jensen nods. "Thanks, Jeff," he says, and Jared doesn't feel like arguing with either of them. He just lets Jensen guide him outside and to his car, feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally. He doesn't pay attention to the drive home and it's only when Jensen stops the car and touches him that he realizes he completely zoned out.

"You wanna be alone?" Jensen asks quietly.

Jared blinks, and then shakes his head. "No," he says, his voice hoarse as if he cried for hours.

It's barely past nine, but once inside he lets Jensen steer him right to his bed, sinking down onto the mattress gratefully. Once Jensen has them both undressed to their underwear and under the covers, Jared curls up against him, already slipping into unconsciousness.

"Jay, wake up."

Jensen's words and the way he shakes him softly draw Jared out of his sleep. His eyes feel gritty when he blinks them open, and he winces at the sunlight streaming in. 

"Time's it?" he slurs.

"Just past eight," Jensen says. 

Jared groans, feeling foggy. "Don't you have work?" he asks, his voice thick, and he swallows, feeling like he has a lump wedged in his throat. He struggles to sit up, and Jensen has a hand on his back moments later, helping him.

"I called in and took the day off," he says. "I already called Jeff too and let him know you're not coming in." 

"I'm not?"

Jensen gives him a small, slightly tight smile and then presses a couple of pills into his hand and passes a bottle of water to him. "You're running a bit of a fever, baby," he says. "Not too bad yet, but you're definitely coming down with something."

"Oh," he says slowly, and it makes sense now, how out of it he was feeling and how messed up he was yesterday. He hasn't really been sick in a few years, but fevers always made him overly sensitive as a kid. He remembers bursting into tears once when he realized his socks weren't matching before his mom hauled him off to a doctor. It's like his brain goes haywire the moment he goes sick.

"Pills, sweetheart," Jensen says and taps his hand.

Jared nods and takes the pills wordlessly, wincing at the way his throat hurts when he swallows and chasing them down with some water. 

"Now get some more rest," Jensen says, taking the bottle from him and putting it down onto the nightstand. Jared lies back down dutifully.

"Are you staying?" he asks. 

"No, I took today off to hang out at my place while you're sick and alone," Jensen replies, and Jared knows he's teasing, but his chest feels tight anyway and he swallows down the hurt.

"Sorry," Jensen says more gently. "No joking today, huh?"

Jared shakes his head as Jensen leans down and kisses his cheek, then his jaw.

"I'm gonna be right here," Jensen promises. "Now sleep. Get better, okay?" 

"Okay," Jared agrees and sighs when Jensen strokes his hair back.

Jared isn't a great sick person, emotional and loopy, and once the fever breaks after a couple of days but he still doesn't feel better, he gets a little crabby and miserable. Jared thinks Jensen must be a saint though, because he takes it in stride, feeding Jared medicine and chicken soup and tea. He stays with him for the first two day, always there when Jared wakes up, working at his laptop, which he must have gotten from home at some point. Jared feels a lot better by day three and Jensen insists he shouldn't go back to work yet—and Jeff agrees and tells him he'll kick him out if he shows up at the bar. Jensen heads back to work, though, but he calls regularly and then shows up after work with take-out and they watch a movie curled up on the couch together. Jared nods off halfway and barely touches his food, but at least he's up for a little while. Friday is a repeat of Thursday, only this time Jensen comes bearing ice cream as well as dinner. 

"You really don't have to do all this," Jared says over dessert, an Avengers movie playing in the background and Jared doesn't even know which one, barely paying attention between having dinner and Jensen doting on him. 

"Of course I do," Jensen says and when Jared opens his mouth to argue, Jensen shushes him. "No arguing with your doctor, Mr. Padalecki." 

"Oh? Are we roleplaying now?" Jared asks.

Jensen snorts and slides his hand onto Jared's thigh, giving it a squeeze. "Maybe once you can make it through a whole movie without nodding off." 

"I'm not," Jared replies, but then he yawns. 

"Bedtime?" Jensen asks softly, and Jared groans.

"I'm shitty company," he says miserably and lets Jensen take the half-empty bowl of ice cream out of his lax hands. "You don't have to stay here. It's Friday night, you should go out and have fun." 

"Sure, baby. I'll go hit the clubs once you're asleep," Jensen mocks, patting his arm before getting up. "Come on, let's go to bed."

Fifteen minutes later, they've both brushed their teeth and changed and Jared is curled up against Jensen, his head on Jensen's chest while Jensen plays with his hair. 

Jared yawns again, rubbing his foot against Jensen's leg to get it to warm up. "Have fun at the club later," he mumbles, and Jensen laughs. 

"Go to sleep, idiot," he says, and Jared smiles and closes his eyes.

Jared feels pretty good when he wakes up the next morning, rested and back to his old strength, finally. 

It's raining outside, heavy drops splashing against the window, and it's warm and comfortable in bed, Jensen still fast asleep. It's Saturday and getting to wake up with Jensen makes Jared feel even better. He brushes his lips over Jensen's shoulder, careful not to disturb him, and then slips out of bed to go make coffee. He checks his fridge for food and it's decently stocked for once and Jared briefly considers attempting to make breakfast. But he barely even manages to make toast that isn't burned half the time, so he just grabs a banana and eats it while he waits for the coffee to be done.

Jensen is just sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes and blinking at him sleepily when Jared returns to the bedroom with two steaming mugs.

"Coffee in bed?" he asks with a smile and Jared grins.

"You kinda deserve it after this week," he says and puts the mugs down on the nightstand. He crawls over Jensen's lap to get to the other side of the bed and Jensen slaps his ass playfully, making Jared laugh. He settles down and then holds out his hands, as Jensen passes one of the mugs to him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good," Jared says. "But I had an excellent doctor this week." 

Jensen grins a little and hums before taking a sip of coffee.

"Seriously," Jared tags on. "Thank you for taking care of me. You were really amazing this week." 

"It was nothing."

"No, it was. Dude, you got me soup and everything," Jared insists and Jensen shrugs.

"It was a team effort, actually. Danni made the soup and got me some stuff from my apartment and Jeff made a trip to the pharmacy to get you some meds so I could stay with you," Jensen says, like that makes it any less of a big deal. 

"Still," Jared presses, and Jensen takes a few big gulps before setting his mug aside. 

"It's what I'm here for, Jay. You don't need to thank for me taking care of you when you're sick," he says.

Jared nods thoughtfully. He finally takes his first sip of coffee and then puts the mug down onto the nightstand at his side of the bed. He wants to ask what Jensen means, if it's because they're friends or because there's more, but he's terrified of what the answer will be. 

"I think we need to talk, huh?" Jensen says, sounding sheepish, and Jared swallows thickly.

"I guess, yeah," he says reluctantly.

"Jeff kinda had some words with me when he dropped off the meds," Jensen admits, and Jared's stomach twists.

"I'll kill him," he says.

Jensen chuckles. "Yeah, I don't think you will," he says. "He just made me realize that, you know, I thought we were on the same page, so I didn't bother saying anything, but apparently we weren't." 

"Are you dumping me?" Jared interjects. "Because I've been dumped a lot, but never in bed and that would be a new low." 

He tries to sound funny, but he just sounds sad, and Jensen looks at him with a soft, fond smile. 

"I'm trying to tell you I'm in love with you, you idiot," he says. "I kinda thought we were already dating."

"You said you only wanted us to be fuckbuddies," Jared replies, and he feels like an idiot the moment the words have left his mouth, because Jensen just told him he's in love with him and Jared shouldn't be trying to argue with him. He _wants_ Jensen to be in love with him. 

"Well, I'm _also_ an idiot," Jensen says. "I just… figured it was obvious that we'd moved past that."

"I'm not a mind reader," Jared replies, exasperated.

Jensen pats his arm and grins. "That's okay, honey. You can work on that. I still like you anyway," he mocks, and Jared punches him in the arm before leaning in and pulling Jensen into a kiss.

"Say it again," he mumbles against Jensen's lips, smiling.

"Say what?" Jensen asks and cups Jared's face, kissing him again.

"The thing about you being in love with me," Jared says, and Jensen pulls Jared down onto the mattress with him. Jared props himself up on his elbows on each side of Jensen's head, looking down again.

"I'm in love with you," Jensen says and Jared can't help the wide grin.

"I'm in love with you, too." 

"Geez, really? I had no idea," Jensen jokes and reaches up, pushing Jared's hair behind his ear.

"Mean," Jared mumbles, and Jensen lifts up and kisses him before flopping back down. He slides his arms around Jared's waist, tugging him down, and Jared lets him, curling up next to Jensen, their legs tangled and his arm thrown over Jensen's chest.

Jensen drums his fingers against his arm. "Know what else?"

"Hmm, what?"

"You're my best friend," Jensen says, and Jared knows what he's trying to say, remembering the conversation they had not too long ago. He's pretty sure if he got any happier, he'd burst. 

"Right back at you," he murmurs, and Jensen brings Jared's hand up, pressing a kiss to the pride tattoo on his wrist. 

"Hmm. You know, maybe you should get my name tattooed somewhere next," he jokes, and Jared snorts.

"In your dreams," he says and then wiggles his fingers in front of Jensen's face. "But the next ring I'm getting anywhere better be on my finger."

Jensen laughs, the sound loud and happy and Jared grins. "If you can hold off getting another piercing for a year or two," he agrees, and Jared's breath catches in his throat, because Jensen doesn't sound like he's joking. 

He drops his hand back down to Jensen's chest and grins. "Deal," he says softly. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on twitter, [@whispered_story](https://twitter.com/whispered_story).


End file.
